I thought my feelings of suicide were gone but I guess not. Im sick of being unemployed, broke, and unhappy all the time. I cant even afford a $1 holiday card to give as a gift. I rely on family to get by. Bills are piling up and I dont know where to turn. Sure I've had a few jobs in the last few months. I'd sit through all the training and then just up and leave within a week. I don't know why I do this to myself. I just walked out on my 4th job in 5 months last night. What the hell is wrong with me? Why must I feel like a prisoner of my on mind? Why can't I control my thoughts? I just want to be happy like everyone else I see around me. Sometimes I cry for no apparent reason. I dont enjoy the things I used to like playing my guitar or listening to music. If we are all going to die anyway why should I wait in this prison?