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its all my fault,

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i've been abused, if i had just been good and stayed away, kept out of his way when he was mad, kept to my room, just stayed away maybe it wouldnt have happened, maybe i would be able to let someone touch me now :'(

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Maybe if you got him arrested and charged for what he did you would see NONE of it was your fault NONE of it Maybe lock him away in a room let him suffer for what he did You were the victim don't stay there okay don't let him continue to have power over you become a survivor okay take care


Well-Known Member
This is always bothering me poor innocent females thinking its their fault for getting abused. You think it would have been better if you stayed away no i don't think so he would have found you and made up another excuse for abusing you. Stop! being a statistic I believe that you're a really intelligent young woman you're probably on the Deans List or you were a Honor Roll Student in High School. I think women go to the wrong men because lets be honest you feel you can't do any better. Its sad but its true how some Men think of woman. They think that we're punching bags and think we deserve to be knocked down so sad how they think of females we can be stronger than that and you can be stronger you don't have to think you deserve this kind of Abuse. Be Smarter Sweety
I realize that this post was from a while back, but I understand that feeling and the words that you posted that day. We play the what if game all the time and wonder how things could have been different. What if I had just done what he asked, what if I could have been "good." But we can't change the past or so I'm told. The only thing we can do is grow and learn from what happened. Hope things are going better.


Well-Known Member
there is no logical reason for abuse. blaming yourfelf is the worst possible choice of all. the options to give to avoid his abuse are not rational, to be constantly in your room, or avoiding a person for their behavior screams that there is a problem with them. NOT you.
they say when we blame ourselves we have a long journey ahead . when we blame others we are half way there and if we blame no one we are free from it.

Nima you should read about stalk home syndrome. doesn't make sense even after the fact but its real i was there. my saving grace was my strong logic center telling me how can it be my fault when it was not my conscious choice or act or how can i love when my life is in the balance and the person holding the scales. didn t equate properly to logic.
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