its all my fault

[sbuck]

its all my fault he got arrested. i shouldnt have been driving like that. i cant stop thinking about it.
all that keeps running through my mind is what i should have done instead. how im stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. it just keeps repeating in my head and i keep seeing him getting pulled out of the car and getting handcuffed. i just wanted to jump out and grab him.

im such a fuck up. if i died, i couldnt fuck up anyones life anymore.
someone please help me.
i have an hour until someone gets home and im seriously considering suicide :cry:
i just need to hear that its gonna be okay, i guess :cry: even though right now i dont think it ever will be

 

[obscure]

how can it be your fault? if he had a warrant out for his arrest it means HE did something wrong. he wouldve gotten arrested whether he was with you or not. you did nothing wrong sweetheart!

 

[sbuck]

but i was driving wrong or something i shouldnt have been arguing with him. im just so sorry. i didnt mean for it to happen that way i didnt mean to do anything wrong :cry:

 

[total eclipse]

YOu didn't do anything wrong okay we all make mistakes when we drive who knows the officer may have been looking for him and saw him in the passenger side and pulled you over EVERYTHING will be alright okay it will just breath soon someone will be home and you will get through this you will

 

[sbuck]

thats what im thinking... the officer saw him.
im just so... i feel so so so so so bad :cry: these last few weeks i feel like my life is falling apart even more than it has been. i just wanna scream... but i have, and it doesnt help

 

[total eclipse]

You are going to be okay don't worry do you have a therapist to talk to or a coucillor that you can confide in. Things have a way of working out okay It was bound to happen his arrest so rather get it over with sooner okay You have to look after YOU now Ihope someone gets home soon so you do not feel so alone hugs

 

[sbuck]

thank you.
i hope so too.
im just staring at the pills im trying so so so so hard to fight it because i know im not in the right mind. but right now i really dont think i can go on

and no i dont have a therapist... not anymore because my insurance ran out

 

[total eclipse]

YOu can call a crisis line you know just to talk to a real voice to be heard and have someone talk to you helps so greatly. I have used such lines now when i was in crisis and they help me calm down. Please reach out okay call crisis line in your area and just talk to someone okay it helps throw the pills away if they are a temptation to you