Hi, I originally posted this to depression forum. But it was meant for here. I'm new, I guess don't know where else to turn. I feel this is my last place to express my despair. Currently i am paralyzed by depression. My life has crashed and burned in the span of 6 months. I'm very depressed and getting closer and closer to doing something stupid. I really can't take much more to be honest. I'm 42 and I have lost everything, AND i mean EVERYTHING. My job, my wife, my house, my kids, and a possible conviction. 6 months ago I was making 120k a year had a beautiful wife and kids a large house. Everything was fine. Complacent you might say. Then everything changed and I can't pull out of this nose dive. I've lost a great sales job and I'm having trouble finding another. I'm currently collecting unemployment. My wife separated from me and I have just found out (Christmas eve) she's been having an affair with my best friend. The betrayal from my friend and my wife is almost too much to take. I've been in a state of crushing depression now since Christmas eve. I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm trying to keep it together because I love my 2 daughters soooo much, but the pain is starting to outweigh everything else. I don't know what to do. I want to keep my family together and my wife is confused and doesn't know what she wants. I want to forgive her but I don't know if I can. I'm so hurt when they both (my wife and my x-friend) knew how hard of time I was having. It's like they conspired to push me to the brink. I feel like i'm just waiting for that last straw to fall. I've been talking to a counselor and my Pastor but I get very little comfort, suggestions or answers. Sleep is getting harder and harder to do, 3-4 hours a night. I have very dark dreams and nightmares. I really feel it's just a matter of time now. Suggestions? lol. I've never done anything like this but there's little else to do at this point. Turning to an online forum i believe is my last outlet.