Its all too much

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cpear, Jun 12, 2014.

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  1. cpear

    cpear New Member

    I Have been struggling heavily for past two weeks with suicidal thoughts, I have been having a reoccurring dream and thought where <mod edit- methods>. What I find most terrifying is that when i think about it i am filled with calmness, I have no stress and no anxiety, which is discerning, i keep inching closer and closer <mod edit- methods> and doing it. It feels like it is the only way to die peacefully for me, to end this pain. I have trouble functioning right now too, im either insomnic or hypersomnic for days at a time constantly alternating between the two. I really just dont know what to do, i feel so alone and just want it to end.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 12, 2014
  2. Isaak

    Isaak Active Member

    It's a wretched feeling, isn't it?

    Forgive me for presuming to know what you are dealing with, but I believe that when one can calmly, rationally contemplate their own end, it's indicative of the validity of one's suffering and the ultimate tragedy-- people failing, unwilling, or unable to listen to the cries of smart, strong, and good people they've left behind.
  3. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    The feeling of isolation may be spurring you on to feel like this, not getting enough rest or the right type of rest at least cannot be helping I am so sorry. I mean it isn't easy but you need to keep pushing these thoughts away, doing what you can to help yourself. Diet and exercise perhaps, speak to a doctor and maybe tackle the sleeping issue first if you don't feel comfortable talking about the rest, just keep yourself safe.

    Take it easy on yourself and please don't do anything rash

  4. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    I'm really sorry that you are in this state. Is there anyway that you can get the rest that you need?
  5. mandy

    mandy Well-Known Member

    I agree that you need to get proper sleep. You should ask a doctor about this, it could really help. I know when I have not gotten enough, have gotten too much, or just not proper sleep I feel really awful and it can exacerbate my depression. That should be addressed first. But you should distract yourself also so that you don't do anything. I know it may seem like you would be relieved or calm to do it, but ending it's not the answer. There is something keeping you alive right now and you need to hold on to that and never let it go. Dying won't solve anything, it will just prevent anything from ever getting better. Right now you should distract yourself, do things you like or things around other people, etc. Please stay strong and we are all here to talk if you need.
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