So, I ended up in hospital again. Not by overdosing well I did but not on drugs on alcohol. It is my own fault. I went out without eating and drank too much. I wanted to forget what had been oging on over the past few weeks and as soon as I had one drink I carried on having more. So I passed out and had a fit. Woke up in hospital where everyone was so horrible. It is the 5th time in 3 weeks so is understandable. They wanted to keep me in but I couldn't face it. It is all getting too much. They psychologist person or he may be a social worker (he is based at the hospital) I have seen a few times has been great but it is not a regular thing to see him. He just tells me who else to contact and what other counselling stuff I need. I have got a counsellor but does not really help. I can't be doing with the ummm and ahh approach and sturuggle to find anyone who does not fit in to that category. I am constantly thinking of ways to end everything. I know an overdose would not work as have tried that and just end up being in hospital for 3 nights. On friday after leaving the hospital I nearly jumped in front of a car but the only thing that stopped me was I knew they would be able to avoid me as they were not going fast enough and the last thing I want is to be admited to a psych ward in a hospital as the idea really scres me. I really don't know how i can cope with feeling like this anymore!