It's All Your Fault?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Psychosomatattack, Jun 27, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Psychosomatattack

    Psychosomatattack Active Member

    I came across a disturbing blog entry today... Written by an EMT who sees a lot of suicides and even more "attempts". Basically the guy was using dark humor, mocking people who attempt suicide and don't succeed. He says in the post that if you are going to "try" to kill yourself, don't try and fail because that makes you a pathetic, cowardly loser - go out with style, and make sure the method works.

    Obviously, some of the comments he received on the entry were outraged and emotional. He responded to each one unemotionally, saying that people who really want to die will do it, and those who "attempt" don't really want to die, they just want attention. And that suicide is cowardly, but if you're going to do it at least follow through and succeed. And don't botch it and simply maim yourself, becoming a burden to society as a "useless sack of flesh" (exact words; how nice).

    He said that it's important for people to realize that most other people don't care about you - whether you live or die. Even the social workers and police and all the healthcare workers who pretend to care because it's their job - they're just doing their job.

    He said that anyone who is depressed/suicidal is that way because they got themselves to that place - that their problems are all because of them, and no one else, not the world. No one is to blame but the person who is depressed at all.

    And finally, he made the point that if someone reading his blog couldn't handle what he was saying, they were too emotionally immature to be reading it, because they are letting his words influence their own emotions, just like people who are suicidal - always blaming everyone else for their feelings and problems. this true? It made me feel sick reading it because it felt like a punch in the gut. I saw myself in those commenters responding emotionally, and I saw myself in the suicidal/depressed people he was so contemptuously referring to.

    Even though I had a strong initial emotional reaction to it, I'm not one to run from the truth. My mind won't let me - I have to be honest about things to myself, even if it hurts. So I want to know if this is the attitude I have to embrace, because it is the truth.

    And if it is true... How does a person who feels so broken and bitter with the world begin to change for the better, relying on themselves? I feel worthless and insecure and I am always socially anxious - that is my fault? If it is... so be it. But it's a hard pill to swallow. I guess it's easier to just blame the world. But even admitting it's all my own fault... I still don't know how to change. Or if I even have the will to. So what do you do then? No one else really cares about you, and you can't help yourself. Sounds pretty hopeless to me. And I guess that's all my own fault...

    Anyway... What do you think of the guy's blog post?
  2. Jekter

    Jekter Account Closed

    He is a dumb ass hole

    I personally believe everything in this world is gods fault
    No one makes a choice intentionally to cause harm to ones self
    We are placed in situations by fate
    And react to how we see best, which is what makes us HUMANS

    We aren't droids god...
    We have feelings, we have wants and needs
    We aren't ur slaves so please just use ur angels cuZ they are naive like u want them to be
  3. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Hi. No please don't listen to anyone like this. He may have some "points" but it's hardly right. The problem with people who deal with real life situations is, they acquire a great deal of facts and real life situations that can't be disputed. It makes them believe they know or understand everything that goes into something, and they can use these facts together to paint a really believable picture. Let alone when they add their own emotional point of view it makes it seem that they are right.
    Anyone who speaks like this is closed off, either before hand or has had to close off to deal with what they don't understand. Please don't let this persons opinon influence you in any way shape or form. I would honestly suggest feeling some sympathy for the EMT. I know some will say he should leave, and probably to true. But regardless of that, he doesn't understand life beyond what he's defined. He sees a point and an end, but nothing inbetween. And he's so easily defined things in life that he ...

    It's not worth your time. You will only be having to defend yourself and then being attacked by a very defining position that will twist your views and expressions into his limited bubble world that he needs in order to function as who he is. I respectably would ask you to stay away from such a person if you are feeling depressed, vulnerable.. and honest to yourself. Views like that just .. He doesn't understand.

    If you feel ok, can you pm the blog? If you don't want to that's fine, but I'm interested... if it's a personal blog and he's venting, .. idk. I'd just be interested in reading it.

    I hope you are ok. Please don't let anything that person says influence your thoughts. Maybe try to put it aside. He may touch on some real true topics, but that is not how things work. We can all talk about anything, but it's the manner in which we talk about things, and the openness and respect we bring through this discussions that allows us to see other peoples lives and how they are formed. He will only serve to throw walls and wars in places that there should by all rights be none. This is hardly the practice of any medical or caring professional, or caring individual as far as im concerend. He may have the practical skills of an EMT but his mental and emotional sides are severly hindered. Probably so he can do his job.
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    First off, can I just say that it is complete and utter bullshit what this guy said about healthcare workers not giving a shit about people who attempt and whether they live or die. This guy is just a bad egg and you should take what he says with a pinch of salt. I myself work in healthcare, I have just qualified as a nurse and during my training I had many encounters with people who have attempted suicide, some who fortunately survived and others that sadly didn't make it. It used to break my heart when people younger than me were being brought in with suicide attempts and it always made me sad when anyone came in with a suicide attempt, or came in because they were suicidal. Also, I never came across any nurses or doctors who badmouthed people who had attempted/were suicidal and many nurses would sit with the patient and try and encourage the patient to talk or just let them know they didn't have to go through this alone.

    Healthcare professionals do get frustrated from time to time with our patients, no matter what they have come into hospital for. It is natural and healthy to rant because you do get the occasional bad customer. We are only human and we do our best to keep calm, keep smiling and continue with our job. But that is the same for any other job and we do need our coping mechanisms to get through the day sometimes. However, what that guy said is just plain disgusted and vile. Someone who lacks such little empathy and caring should not be working in a position where he is exposed to such vulnerable people. If you have his name you could report him, because saying such vile shit like that publicly can land you into such serious trouble. What goes around comes around, and he will get his.

    I just want to make it clear that it is nobody's fault that they are depressed or are struggling mentally. Nobody asks for it, nobody wants it. Sadly it just happens. Please don't let this one asshat convince you that we all think like this in the healthcare sector, because we don't. Don't let it hinder you from seeking help either. I know that for me, being a nurse is not about the paycheck, it is a vocation that you have to love otherwise you wouldn't do it, and that means caring and advocating the best we can for ALL of our patients.
  5. Psychosomatattack

    Psychosomatattack Active Member

    Thank you for your responses, everyone...

    I have to admit, he nearly had me convinced. Probably because his post made me feel ashamed and so I started thinking, "You know, maybe he's right about this..."

    I'd like to think most people are more caring than he claims. And that most EMTs and other healthcare workers aren't so callous. I understand sometimes they have to harden themselves to make it through each day at their job without it affecting THEM badly as well, but if it starts getting to be too much perhaps they should find another job? It's not as if they are being forced to stay, like they were drafted into a war or something and now must endure great trauma. There are other jobs out there... (though it's not always easy to change jobs, but if it's affecting you so much then you should IMO).

    I actually want to be an EMT myself, but now I'm wondering - am I going to be dealing with coldhearted jerks like him for the most part? Or is he just - as Butterfly said - a bad egg? Surely the majority of EMTs haven't all become so desensitized to the point of callousness? :( If so, I don't want to be one. I couldn't stand to work with people like that.

    Anyway. I just hope what he said isn't true. I'm already feeling bad, and now I feel like on top of it all it's really all just my own fault. If it is, I don't want to be in denial about it. I guess I just don't know how much is my own fault and how much isn't. *shrug*
  6. Jace

    Jace Active Member

    Healthcare workers do care. I work in the local ER and I have only came across a CNA who mocked a suicide pt, she didn't work under me after that. I have been in their situation - on the hospital bed thinking of the next attempt that will occur once you are discharged. Our staff works very hard to make sure that you don't walk out of our door and end up dead or right back in our care. We will be your support system, I will do everything in my power to soothe the pain that you are in.

    I have not been in the field long so I'm sure I will see a lot in the years to come, but I do care, I always will.
  7. Jace

    Jace Active Member

    In response to your other message Psycho,

    I have a few buddies who are EMTs and they are not like this guy at all.

    You do have to harden yourself in order to remain calm, but you are by no means emotionless as this guy appears to be.

    Don't let this jerk get in the way of your dreams. Go for it and I will be cheering for you the whole way
  8. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    "MOST" people who get into health care, and in particular, MENTAL HEALTH CARE, do so because they care and they want to do something to help others that they feel will provide some meaning to them.

    In any population or function, there shall always exist bad eggs.
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    this guy sounds horrible..I'd hate to have him looking after me..
    there's usually a few bad eggs in every basket and he is one very bad compassion, no empathy, perhaps a narcissist!
    I bet he's never been sick in his life! one would hope that he meets a mirror image of himself if he ever does get sick.

    Depression is an illness...trying to kill oneself is usually caused by an illness.
    this man should not be in this profession if he believes otherwise!

    I personally would be letting his supervisors know about this blog he writes so they can take appropriate action.
    there would be no loss to this profession if he was not working there anymore.
    what a *%#@!!!
  10. Ordior

    Ordior New Member

    Well, considering us being high-social species, one cannot say that self-damaging train of thought is a fault of one person self. As our intellect is a distributed phenomenon (we highly depend on knowledge of other people, “stand on the shoulders of giants”), so are causes of our actions. They result from complex interaction between self and the world.

    As for being useless and wasting resources. Well, imagine we, who are in despair, do not “waste” it, how else will those resources be used then? People spend billions on war affairs, on useless consumption and so forth. Should they manage to save some more, where would they put it? Science, humanism? I don’t think so.

    As for wanting attention. That person himself searches for attention writing such provocative post.
  11. CD110

    CD110 Well-Known Member

    It's called a troll.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.