Around November I was really struggling with my ability to stop my suicidal thoughts, which was (or so I believe) an aftershock of my friend's passing away a month earlier. I stopped running the bridge because I felt tempted to jump every time I was there, I threw away all of the prescriptions I could possibly have used and tried my best to keep myself away from any resource I could've used to commit suicide. Still, I couldn't cope with the feelings of abandonment. I felt entirely alone in the world and felt like no matter who I was around, there was nothing in any given environment that I had a use for. I couldn't stand that people were two-faced and I hated how society had cultured people to be so ambiguous. In a time of need, when I was trying my best to cope with my loss, the people I usually ran to for comfort weren't sure how to handle me, so they tried to distract me. To make a long story short, I found a quote in The Catcher in The Rye that entirely changed my perspective. After almost 2 months of wanting to commit suicide, this simple quote consoled me in ways none of my friends had been able to. It comforted me genuinely, unlike my friends who produced generic responses as to why I shouldn't do it. I know everyone has their reasons, but maybe this quote will help someone as it has helped me. I hope it does. "It's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started."