It really truly is. All that killls me right now is that I can't DO something about everything. I have no more pills no nothing. Of course it's all fucking stupid because I'm fucking stupid I will always find a reason to hate my life no matter what is solved. Everyone pretends to care it's what people do best and no one has the courtesy to tell me yes you did fuck up and yes you are better off dead. I can't fix this and I'm done with it. I CAN'T be happy ever, I screwed my chance at happiness I'm always told there are other things but how is it your place to judge what can make me happy. My life is finished and I want out now.