i've tried to make my life worth living over the past few years and i've failed. i have just one last thing i need to find out before i finally decide that it's over. i already know it's over, but i have to humor myself until i make a final decision. i have no more hope. i will never be happy. i just want it all to end. i'm not really sure if i'm supposed to be posting anything "meaningful" or something. i feel most of my posts have just been rants. should i be putting my thoughts into something other than a rant?