It's amazing how a relative can make you feel rage to the point of being suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by A_pixie, Jun 22, 2008.

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  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    My uncle is ruining our lives. He (Let's just call him "Bob") lives on the same street as us and he is becoming absolutely unbearable. I have felt increasingly suicidal due to this man and he is making me ill. I do not want to be related to him as he has upset pretty much EVERYONE in our town. I cut myself because of him. I think it is better if I make this into a list:

    1) Another uncle currently staying at our house. He detests "Bob" seeing as "Bob" stole his fiance years ago and is still with her! It is thanks to "Bob" that his 15 year old son does not want to see him as "Bob" has bad mouthed my other uncle in order to justify him sleeping with his ex-fiance.

    2) He is a born again christian, I am agonstic yet I respect his religion and do not say offensice things about it. He has the nerve to criticise me for having a sex life -AT AGED 21, A GROWN WOMAN! He says I lead an immoral life even though I am wholly in love with my boyfriend of over a year, why can't he stop calling me a whore?!! It's perfectly OK to sleep with his brother's fiance yet he brings up my loving, healthy relationship all the time just because I am not christian and not married.

    3) A 13 year old boy was murdered a few blocks away from us and he keeps upsetting the neighbours and us by saying "everything happens for a reason, God let him die in case he became a murderer later in life" I am truely starting to worry for his sanity, and I'm afraid he will get hurt if the boy's family overhears what he has been saying. He is putting our entire family in danger with his big mouth!

    4) He drink drives down our street on a regular basis and my Dad is fed up of re-parking his car in order to stop him being arrested. My grand mother had to go to hospital recently and he drove there swigging at a can off beer. He will be the death of my Grand mother, she worries so much about him.

    5) My sister may be autistic and he blames her behavior on "devils" I have supposedly let into our house by not being a christian and listening to rock music. He recently said our whole family would be better off if my sister were dead. He constantly frightened me as a kid by talking about how it was up to me to save my SEVEN year old sister from Hell and if she went there it would be my fault. She may be disabled for God's sake! He encourages my parents to beat her unconcious, but they would never, ever do that, and he calls them bad parents for not being a violent thug like he is.

    6) He recently tried to physically attack a stranger for hanging up on him regarding something he was selling in the paper and drunkenly drove his car down the road trying to find them, verbally abusing strangers and asking if they wanted to be beaten up...he was arrested and cautioned, but this has not stopped him drink driving or fighting people he has never met before!!

    7) He thinks angels and devils appear to him and gets agressive when people do not believe him. Although he is an ex LSD user and won't accept his "visions" are probably flash-backs of an LSD trip.

    8) He does not know that I know about him sleeping with his brother's fiance, and keeps firmly on the moral high ground about my sex life just because he thinks I don't know about his traitorous behavoir.

    9) He bullied my Grand Mother into signing a will leaving everything to him. My Gran is afraid he will become violent if she changes the will, she desperately wants to though.

    10) He even criticises my eating habits (the sin of gluttony he calls it) even though I am a diagnosed bulimic, my mother is too afraid of him to tell him he has crossed the line.

    He has stayed away since my other uncle moved in obviously, but he keeps worming his way back into our family when he needs beer money or help. Men have turned up at our house looking for him and nearly assaulted my father who has a heart condition!!! My father is a good person who has never attacked anybody in his life yet my uncle keeps putting him in jepoardy. I am truelly at a loss. I don't want to kill myself but things just keep getting worse.

    I have even thought about looking in to getting him sectioned because he is a danger to people around him. He is now drinking in the morning, and I'm afraid he may be hurting my cousin. He has already taken his Dad away from him and turned his mother into an alcholic, he still lives with his mother and messes up her house with his alcoholic fits at aged 41.

    These suicidal feelings creep up on me sometimes because I hate living in fear of what he is going to do next, what really doesn't help is us being stared at for being related to "the town nutjob" although we have done nothing wrong.

    I keep getting chest pains and can't sleep. I am a self-harmer and he drives me to it just when I think I'm getting better. He calls ME "sick in the head" and "needing spiritual healing" because I am manic depressive and I'm starting to wonder how much of my childhood depression was his fault. He even suggests God gives me my depression on purpose because I'm not a christian, it hurts me so much when he says that because in my weaker depressive moments he makes me feel like I deserve the lows I go through.

    What can I do if anything to stop this man ruining more lives and possibly ending mine? Is his behavior cause for anyone to think about getting him sectioned because I honestly am afraid of who he will hurt in the future, including himself. Please help, I'm not sure if I can take much more of his harmful behavior.

    This guy is making me so angry I feel like dying at times. I have never met someone who sets a trigger off inside of me that throws me into such despair.

    Please help.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It definitley sounds like you have a plate full.Has anyone told the police how he is? maybe if he's watched by the law from a distance, that they can arrest him for being violent. He needs help, the thing is he won't get it because he self medicates from alcohol. I don't know how your local laws are. Here in Florida you can get someone Baker Acted for observation. They can hold him for three days and monitor him. After three days he would have to go in front of a judge and be determined one way or another. If your luckey the judge will send him to the state hospital for crazy people. I hope some of this helps, like I said I don't know how your laws work...:chopper:
  3. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    Pixie im so sorry to hear about how your uncle is treating you.I think he definitly should be sectioned or at least give the local police a call and see what your family can legaly do to keep him away.and what your grandmother can do cause im sure its ilegal there to bully someone to get into there america we can get restraining orders that makes the person have to stay away from us and our home.i definitly think you should call the police to see what you guys can do.

    If I was in your postition I would avoid him like the plague.dont answer any of his calls or answer the door when he would be better if you could get your family to avoid him also.

    Alot of times people like that feed off of others reactions.I think that you should take the mentality of ,Im not gonna let him effect me, dont give him the power to hurt you.its hard to learn how to do that but i think that could help you protect yourself from him.

    your sisters condition is not your fault,you dont deserve to have depression no one does.

    I hope that your family can find away to get him out of your lives.

    And again don't give him the power to effect you.I hope that there is something your family can do.

    Take Care *Hugles

    I'm here if you need anything
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the responses guys, he is a hard person to handle and it makes me sad but at the same time I think he genuinly needs help...I'm going to speak to a psychiatrist tommorow about this, maybe he can tell me what kind of signs he is giving off or try to speak to him...

    He's not very reasonable, bit like a bull in a china shop...maybe getting help outside the family is the wake up call he needs :(
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I think he seriously needs help on more than one level. By allowing him to continue on with his behavior those people are enabling him not to change. i am glad you are talking to your psych about him. You should also consider starting a file on him with your police department. You can do that without pressing any charges, but then a history is established so if something needs to be done at a future date, evidence exists.
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Can you file a restraining order against him because of is emotional abuse and the fact that it makes you want to self harm?
  7. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Ignore him. If he continues to harass you, get an injunction. I can't say the pain of past experience will vanish, because it won't. But I think one can channel that rage into positive action. It sounds like he has a dominating personality, and you will grow stronger when you step out of that shadow. It's a little scary, but you CAN do it.
    As for his supposedly Christian views, it sounds like he's parroting simplistic Evangelical propoganda. That way, he doesn't need to burden himself with original thinking.
    That's just my two cents.
    All the best. M
  8. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    I think you are doing the right thing in talking to the psychologist about him.. they do know all the ins and outs of helping someone deal with problematic family members...

    :hug: i am so sorry pixie... sometimes family can be the worst of all to deal with.. i can't even imagine.. my own family is pushing me to the near suicide point for different reasons so i feel your pain there... don't give up though... talk to the psychologist...
  9. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    First off Pixie NONE of this is your fault. This guy sounds to me like he is suffereing from more than one mental health problem, could be bi polar, could be schitzophrenia, could be a whole manner of things, but untreated and topped with alcoholism it will reach these hights.

    There are a few things your family can do here. I'll give you a few ideas.

    If he is drink driving on a regular basis, you can call the police. It sounds as if your in the US, and I know DUI is a pretty serious crime over there so they should investigate. If he gets arrested nobody will know who reported him, he has just as much chance of getting arrested if he's caught driving with drink in the car or if he crashes or runs someone over.

    you could have an intervention for him, if you have enough family on your side you and your family could all get together and give him the choice of having an injunction against him to keep him away from everyone, or check into treatment.

    You could speak to a psychologist, explain what his behavour is like, just tell them everything you've said to us. It may be he can be sectioned and treated that way. Not nice I know but by the sounds of it he's turned into a not very nice person. Chances are if he is a danger to the general public this could well happen.

    You say he's an ex LSD user, now while I've nothing against people who use acid responsably, this guy seems to be having LSD flashbacks, this is probably whats responsable for him seeing angels. In his unstable state he is going to beleive that this is what they are and use it further to harrass your family.

    Another thing you could do is speak to someone like a preist, maybe see if someone would have a talk with him, because his behavour really is not that of a Christian. What ever bible verses he is living his deluded life based on are probably warped misinterpreted versions. I don't follow religion, I have my set of beleifs I keep private and that is it. I do however respect people's choice to follow whatever religion they please, worship whatever god they please etc. Maybe someone could use his religion to get through to him.

    But if worse comes to the worst and he becomes violent, abuside, aggressive or anything else, just call the police and let them deal with him. Sooner or later someone will have enough, he will go off at the wrong person and land up getting himself shot, stabbed or worse. Somethings got to be done for the sake of him and everone he comes into contact with.
  10. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member


    I too would go to the police and start a file against him. You never know you may give them so much evidence that they may arrest him there n then. Then again may he too needs psychiatric help it sounds as if he might do.

    Do not want to put you off but I too am a christain...however almost everything he has said to you is not true not what I believe in my christian life anyway. I do not see what you are doing wrong or anything. I know that you are agnostic but flipping heck your more of a christain (by the way you talk) than he is. Sorry to say that. His actions are in no way of a christain life or annything. If he is talking like that then maybe you could say go and see the head of your church and tell them your possessed. actually maybe not.

    I am really sorry that he is being nasty and self centred towards you and your family. Maybe next time he brings up your sexual relationship maybe you could confront him with his and then ru from the room and get an injunction against him for you and your family on the grounds of fear for your life. If he is disruptive of your neightbours in that way then in England he could get an ASBO which means that he can not harrass or talk to certain people and not allowed to go certain places and if if he is seen on a street that he is not allowed on he is immediately arrested. bit like an injuction but he has less freedom.

    This all sounds really harsh and it really is not ment to.

    You know, and remember this when times are really hard, it is not your fault or your families of how he is of the insults he throws at you. It was not Gods fault that that little boy died because of his reasoning. Unfortunately there are many different types of christains in the world and I for one believe that he is completely missing the whole point of the religion as well as the rest of the people who believe what he says.


  11. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Hi pixie
    As been told before, you should ignore him, if you worry about your fammily
    talk to them, tell them about the options thay can do to stop this.
    Tell them and support them about calling the police and to ask them about
    what can you and your fammily do.
    Talk to your grandmother, tell her she can change her will if she want and that
    if "Bob" will do any problems she can always contact the police.

    I know it must be difficult for your fammily to tourn aginst "Bob" becouse he is
    a part of the fammily, but sometimes, police arrest is not a bad thing, that way
    he ("Bob") will know that you and your fammily people too with fealing and needs.

    Anyways, there is much to do, the fact that you feel like you cant do much about it is wrong, you can do many things.

    Good luck
  12. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    The psychiatrist reacted strangely to my family's issues, he booked me in for a next appointment in September.

    My uncle has been quiet lately...possibly realizes he is losing allies. The next time he drink-drives I will have to report him if he hits a kid it will be on my head.
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