Its amazing..........

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Shifter, May 27, 2009.

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  1. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    i have suffered depression for a long time now and yes i am very much suicidal. But today i got off my lazy ass and did something about it. I went to the school social worker and she had my dad called, and he reacted the exact way i thought.....:dry: o well, last night i couldn't get to 2 in the morning everyone but me was asleep and it was the perfect opritunity to end my life. Instead i ate something and some how managed to fall asleep. Still i woke up tired and fet up with life. Of course i get mood swings a lot, so at points of a day, to months and weeks i could enjoy life temparaly then i get strong rage, then depression, and so on. This is the first step to recovery, i hope. I have no confedence in this action and i am nurveous. I want to live yet i am fet up life and welcome death as i would 4 billion dollars. Soon i will have to face my father after school because of this. He gets mad for the stupidest reasons ever. goddammit :dry: he thinks i will go a sane assylum and have people operate on me and so on. It just proves that he almost completely forgot to be a teen. I am 16 and have learned to hate life as I live in shame and anger and humiliation; zero sense of self-worth and i could go on like that for years. My mind is made up though, if this doesn't work, i am gonna kill myself for sure. I have high confedence it won't work, Jodee Blanco offered temp help, therapy failed when i was younger, This place tried to a degree, the samaritans failed but are brutally honest and open and understanding.....the social worker is recommending stuff like going to a hospital but it may all end with me drinking poision, or using a fire arm. Or it could end with me being a happier person and having a son.....who knows........
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    My dad was very unsupportive as well. I felt a lot of the same things at your age, although I'm only 4 years older than you now. Don't let one thing change your whole fate. You said if "this" doesn't work you were going to kill yourself. maybe I didn't read your post clear enough I'm not quite sure what you meant by "this" but regardless, you will be old enough to get out of that house eventually. Things won't always be so bad. You don't deserve a father who treats you like that. Unfortunately, and obviously, we can't choose our families, but you can choose to not let him have power over you. Shut him out as much as you can. Post here. Go to the hospital if you need to. It's really not that bad.
    Also, just because therapy didn't work as a child doesn't mean it won't work in the future. Sometimes you have to go through a few before you find one that can understand and actually help. I've been through quite a few since I was around 15. None of them really got to the core of the issue except the one I have now.
    Remember that happiness is possible and you can grow up and have kids and all that good stuff if you want. Don't cut your life short because things suck right now.
    Anyway, thanks for sharing :hug: We're here for ya :handinhand:
  3. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    It doesn't matter if your father is an idiot, but it does matter if you are an idiot. So start being smart about your life. The smarter you are, the faster you can put your present conditions far behind you.
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