It's an every day struggle against my own thoughts. This is too hard.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by whoami, Jan 26, 2011.

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  1. whoami

    whoami Member

    THe only way I can get through the day is to distract myself from extremely troubling thoughts. Sometimes one of them will get through and it sends me into a spiral of suicidal thoughts and urges, this is shit. Something just reminded me of my ex and everything painful started flooding back in. I can't believe this. It instantly sends me back into the pit of depression. Even if i'm having a good day, something will remind me of a painful thought and everything just goes to shit again.

    This is no way to live. How can I live if the only option is to always have to block these thoughts and memories out of my head. It can be the most insignificant thing that sents me off. I wish i could get a lobotomy.
  2. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    Firstly, avoid being around things that you know would trigger bad thoughts. Secondly, if a bad thought already starts, DON'T keep feeding that vicious cycle. Stop it where it starts. Don't let your brain keep thinking. Immediately start doing something to occupy your mind and keep it busy until you stop thinking about it. Make a list of things to do that will occupy you in case of an emergency, and when it happens, use that list.
  3. DeAdwOrLD

    DeAdwOrLD Well-Known Member

    That is good advice, Tooshy. Avoid the things that trigger thoughts of your ex or what is troubling you. Easy said than done, I know but keep doing it and soon the months will pass by hopefully without too much sadness

    Another way to cope is to think about your ex head on; I don't know the circumstances but they've hurt you. How does that make you feel? Angry, rejected, devastated? Maybe all three and more. You are not those emotions though, whoami, even if you feel them very strongly. It is simply your mind adjusting to major life changes and everything that comes with it. And that is what is making you feel shitty and depressed. To ride the wave of those turbulent emotions is all you can do! You don't need neurosurgery just try to be brave...
  4. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    Trying to block thoughts may sometimes lend them energy. Maybe let them flow away. They hurt enormously. But sometimes you are distracted from them so focus on the things that involve you and take you away from them. You probably do already. The triggers hit the low part of the brain that we cannot directly control.
  5. whoami

    whoami Member

    Thank you for the advice, it does help. Yes there are things that trigger the thoughts, and I do need to avoid them, you're right. Sometimes I feel like I do it on purpose... maybe I'll have an overwhelming urge to look at my ex's facebook page even though i know It will make me feel terrible. And it always does. I'm stupid about this. I just wish I wasn't a slave to my thoughts.

    i've lived with depression for a long time but have found that i can block out the negative thoughts. it just hurts a lot when i can't.
  6. Nima

    Nima Well-Known Member

    Welcome Whoami - Please don't have thoughts like that because you are depressed think about good thoughts and waking up each morning breathing in fresh air getting another day.
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