It's tearing me apart knowing I don't have someone to love. I got nobody to talk to, nobody to share my true self with. Unlike the self I show to friends to avoid looking like a trainwreck.
Even thinking about it makes my chest feel hollow and empty.
I don't expect having love in my life would make everything perfect, but it'd atleast make me feel alive again. As of now I'm just a husk dragging himself across the floor.
Maybe it's because I never had a lover before, maybe I'm just being whiny and overreacting.
Sure I'm young, 21. But still, I feel hopeless. Like I'm forever going to be alone, especially in times where I need someone the most.
I long to care for somebody, to fill that hole I got and to mean something to somebody. Sure I got some friends but none I truly ''mean something'' to. I'm just there.
I suppose there's nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, unfortunately it makes everything harder in this case.
A relationship isn't going to complete me, maybe it's not even going to make me as happy as I wish to be. But atleast I'd have something in life where I can be of meaning to someone. Where I have someone close to me.
It feels like I'm not meant to be of meaning to others. And that I'm not meant to feel the comfort of being with someone. Like it's some kind of cruel fate and I just have to live with it and be miserable about it.
Even thinking about it makes my chest feel hollow and empty.
I don't expect having love in my life would make everything perfect, but it'd atleast make me feel alive again. As of now I'm just a husk dragging himself across the floor.
Maybe it's because I never had a lover before, maybe I'm just being whiny and overreacting.
Sure I'm young, 21. But still, I feel hopeless. Like I'm forever going to be alone, especially in times where I need someone the most.
I long to care for somebody, to fill that hole I got and to mean something to somebody. Sure I got some friends but none I truly ''mean something'' to. I'm just there.
I suppose there's nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, unfortunately it makes everything harder in this case.
A relationship isn't going to complete me, maybe it's not even going to make me as happy as I wish to be. But atleast I'd have something in life where I can be of meaning to someone. Where I have someone close to me.
It feels like I'm not meant to be of meaning to others. And that I'm not meant to feel the comfort of being with someone. Like it's some kind of cruel fate and I just have to live with it and be miserable about it.
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