It's as if I'm meant to be alone.

Blood of Kingu

Well-Known Member
#1
It's tearing me apart knowing I don't have someone to love. I got nobody to talk to, nobody to share my true self with. Unlike the self I show to friends to avoid looking like a trainwreck.

Even thinking about it makes my chest feel hollow and empty.

I don't expect having love in my life would make everything perfect, but it'd atleast make me feel alive again. As of now I'm just a husk dragging himself across the floor.

Maybe it's because I never had a lover before, maybe I'm just being whiny and overreacting.
Sure I'm young, 21. But still, I feel hopeless. Like I'm forever going to be alone, especially in times where I need someone the most.

I long to care for somebody, to fill that hole I got and to mean something to somebody. Sure I got some friends but none I truly ''mean something'' to. I'm just there.

I suppose there's nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, unfortunately it makes everything harder in this case.

A relationship isn't going to complete me, maybe it's not even going to make me as happy as I wish to be. But atleast I'd have something in life where I can be of meaning to someone. Where I have someone close to me.

It feels like I'm not meant to be of meaning to others. And that I'm not meant to feel the comfort of being with someone. Like it's some kind of cruel fate and I just have to live with it and be miserable about it.
 
Last edited:

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
you said it yourself you're only 21 there are so many places to meet people today social activities bars work internet etc. first you have to try second you have to care for yourself before you can truly love another if you want with no friends you can try family or you are welcome here we care but don't judge and of course the best thing would be a therapist please try to love yourself first and I wish you well on your search
 

Shorty92

Well-Known Member
#3
I’m a hopeless romantic too, nothing wrong with that! But you are only young plenty of time to fall in love :)

I like to think everyone is worthy of love you just have to find the other half to you.
 
#4
A relationship isn't going to complete me
Nothing or nobody from the outside will "complete" you, because that complete feeling is just that,, a feeling,, that only you will feel on the inside. we all have that complete feeling already and it seems to get triggered or coming into us from outside, he/she this or that "makes" me feel complete, when in fact the outside stimulation is only igniting a spark that we have within. Take notice of when you feel good about yourself and capture that feeling and hold it and own it and learn to tap into it and increase it at will.
You will have so much more to give when you are complete within yourself before you enter a relationship, things can only get better from a starting point of being loved within yourself rather than needing to be loved. Have you ever tried meditation to get you to that place of completion.
Maybe faith is not being cruel after all, maybe you are being guided to search within to find an answer to the emptiness, when you experience moments of love or peace , the emptiness goes away for those moments, and a fullness takes its place, you can learn to practice self love to fill the void.
Love and Light
P
Here's a short meditation you could try
https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/expanded-awareness-meditation.128200/
 

Racheliz

Well-Known Member
#5
It's tearing me apart knowing I don't have someone to love. I got nobody to talk to, nobody to share my true self with. Unlike the self I show to friends to avoid looking like a trainwreck.

Even thinking about it makes my chest feel hollow and empty.

I don't expect having love in my life would make everything perfect, but it'd atleast make me feel alive again. As of now I'm just a husk dragging himself across the floor.

Maybe it's because I never had a lover before, maybe I'm just being whiny and overreacting.
Sure I'm young, 21. But still, I feel hopeless. Like I'm forever going to be alone, especially in times where I need someone the most.

I long to care for somebody, to fill that hole I got and to mean something to somebody. Sure I got some friends but none I truly ''mean something'' to. I'm just there.

I suppose there's nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, unfortunately it makes everything harder in this case.

A relationship isn't going to complete me, maybe it's not even going to make me as happy as I wish to be. But atleast I'd have something in life where I can be of meaning to someone. Where I have someone close to me.

It feels like I'm not meant to be of meaning to others. And that I'm not meant to feel the comfort of being with someone. Like it's some kind of cruel fate and I just have to live with it and be miserable about it.
 

Racheliz

Well-Known Member
#6
It's tearing me apart knowing I don't have someone to love. I got nobody to talk to, nobody to share my true self with. Unlike the self I show to friends to avoid looking like a trainwreck.

Even thinking about it makes my chest feel hollow and empty.

I don't expect having love in my life would make everything perfect, but it'd atleast make me feel alive again. As of now I'm just a husk dragging himself across the floor.

Maybe it's because I never had a lover before, maybe I'm just being whiny and overreacting.
Sure I'm young, 21. But still, I feel hopeless. Like I'm forever going to be alone, especially in times where I need someone the most.

I long to care for somebody, to fill that hole I got and to mean something to somebody. Sure I got some friends but none I truly ''mean something'' to. I'm just there.

I suppose there's nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic, unfortunately it makes everything harder in this case.

A relationship isn't going to complete me, maybe it's not even going to make me as happy as I wish to be. But atleast I'd have something in life where I can be of meaning to someone. Where I have someone close to me.

It feels like I'm not meant to be of meaning to others. And that I'm not meant to feel the comfort of being with someone. Like it's some kind of cruel fate and I just have to live with it and be miserable about it.
I wish I could offer you some answers. Please know that you're not alone in being alone. Your post could've been written by me, with the exception of age (I'm quite a bit older than you). It's very painful to feel unwanted. In particular, I, too, feel that I am made for an intimate relationship, but I just can't seem to make it happen. Just know that I'm in the same position as you and I understand. You can chat with me any time if you need to.
 

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