Its back again

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by tealeaf, Jun 27, 2009.

  1. tealeaf

    tealeaf Member

    i dont know when i started "getting better" but i guess i did, i stopped crying and killing myself wasnt a daily thought, i was "happy" i think at one point, still lonely but i got use to that after a certain point. So HE he trying to get in contact with me adn talk to me again, not going to go into the whole story but HE didnt want me and left me at a time when i needed a friend but now he's talking to me again and i dont know the reason and like a fool i think that by the grace of god he wants to be in life in a positive way but i know that it must be some sick game of his part to confirm that he is so "great" and no matter what he has done in the past i will always want him. Ever since i got his first call i've been having nightmares again, i use to have them all the time and never got a good nights sleep but for the past few months i didnt dream at all and i would take that over not having the nightmares any day. My anxiety is back too and i know its tied to him because i think of him as what i could have had and what my life could have been and it makes me very depressed to think about it but i cant help it. i want to know what he wants and why he chose now to try to get back into my life. idk what to do. just ranting.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hiya hun,

    If he is causing you all that pain and anxiety,you should cut off contact with him. No one is worth feeling like that for :sad: You need to raise your confidence a little and reassure yourself that you're worth more and deserve to be respected.
    Are you on any medication for your anxiety? :hug:
     
  3. tealeaf

    tealeaf Member

    im not on any meds, dont trust myslef with them, i use to take xanax a few yrs ago but i stopped, i just sacred o fpainc setting in and me having no one to turn to, i kinda forgot i was alone and didnt have anyone and he reminded me of that
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2009