My feelings that things are going to end soon are back. My workmate got a call asking if she could work late tommorow till when I should be working. This only happens when someone is going to get fired. I could go and on, and some of you may have even read some of my old posts, but knowing that I need to pay rent and am already in debt and that tommorow my job will likely be gone is too much. I thought I felt bad before... now I just feel like a walking zombie. I just don't care about it all anymore. I can't do it. I'm 25 and I can't get ahead in this world. I am nothing but a burden to those around me. I love this planet, but I can't deal with my depression, debt and esteem problems no matter how I try- therapy, meds. Nothing works. If I lose my job, I will literally have no reason to wake up in the morning. As much as I love my family, I know that in the long run (as much as noone would ever admit) it would be best if I just let them move on with their lives. They still have my brother who has made out well in this world, and I have put them through alot in their lives. I just want to write a nice letter explaining myself and appologizing for what I've done and for taking myself out- and asking that people understand and be compassionate as they have been during my time alive, and just fall asleep. I feel like the food and resources I waste on earth would be better spend on someone else, and that my negative impact on this earth would be diminished if I were to leave and give it to someone who truly deserved it. Everytime I see someone who is disabled or suffering I just wish I could trade places with them or give them my body and life so they could have it , as they deserve it far more.