It's back, and worse than ever.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by A1231988, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    All I ever do is fight with my wife anymore. I feel more alone and hopeless than I ever have, and it doesn't seem to be going away this time. I feel like I am on the verge of killing myself. It's not a sad/hurt feeling I have inside, but instead I just feel nothing. I feel completely empty, and I feel that it would just be easier to kill myself. Suicide sounds amazing when compared to the idea of forcing myself to survive another day.
     
  2. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    Do you care about your wife? Would working it out with her make a difference in how you feel? Take a chance and try to work it out with a marriage counselor. There is still hope if you haven't tried that route before. When my husband left me for another woman I also became very suicidal but I saw a therapist and later a psychiatrist for medication for depression and it got better. I am still here and he is unhappily married again.
     
  3. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    I do care about her, but I don't have it in me to continue putting up with everything. To be completely honest, I just don't care if things work out between us anymore. I have been suicidal since I was 12 years old, so I am definitely not suicidal just because things are not going well with my wife. Not wanting to deal with her anymore just contributes to a feeling that has never really gone away for over 11 years now. I can force myself to put it in the back of my mind for periods of time, but not a day has gone by since I was 12 that I didn't think about and consider killing myself. Recently however, it has been a feeling that I have had all day every day, and I think it is about to beat me. Like I said, it has never really been a sad/depressed feeling for me. I just feel completely empty, and like my emotions have been numbed. I really just don't have the motivation to live.
     
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