It's back

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by betteroffunknown, Mar 26, 2015.

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  1. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    I've had a few 'okay' days this week. Well, they were 'better' than last weekend, but that desire has crept back upon me!!

    Last time I spoke I had mentioned I had tried to contact my therapist; it only took 4 business days, but finally heard back and wouldn't you know it, not from her. She had someone else call me to tell me there was an appt available this Mon. They had to leave a message cuz I was unavailable when they called, but before unexpectedly getting that message (I had given up that I would hear anything back) I had resolved that I wasn't going to go in anymore. I mean, why would I go back when she wouldn't even return my call??

    I was incredibly surprised at myself (technically I was disappointed) that I immediately called after I heard the message to set the available appt. Now I'm sitting here fretting over it, and it's not even till Monday. Guess you could say I'm stressing about it now cuz I'm afraid. I'm afraid to let her know that I've been finding myself in this dark place (it was strongly recommended to by a friend to do) that I haven't been in for about 5yrs now. I've never discussed this part of me with this new therapist, and I really have no desire to tell her now. I know there's no point in it anyways which leaves me not cooperative at all - especially at this point.

    I say all this because the one thing I had found the most helpful is actually available to me again, but am finding myself resistant to it now. I'm tired, so very, very, very tired. Had hoped I wouldn't find myself in this position again, but I hear I sit.....
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    what about keeping yourself busy distracting yourself until then? Easier said than done.
     
  3. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    Tomorrow I will have a few things to take care (one of which I feel horrible about) then nothing on tap for the weekend, so yes, easier said than done. I'm a teeter totter atm, and not sure I can do this much longer!!
     
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I think it's important to find a therapist who is a good match for you. If you don't like this therapist there's no reason not to try a different one (as far as I know). I guess it could be a problem if you keep jumping from therapist to therapist every couple of months.

    Your therapist may be very busy, so it's understandable if she is not available for phone calls. I think there is a kind of therapy where you can be in contact at any time, but I think it is pretty rare, since it's very demanding for the therapist.

    In any case, if the only problem with the therapist is that she did not return your call, it's probably best to forgive her. If you feel like the relationship isn't good though, you may want to get another.
     
  5. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    Whoa! You call in crisis and it takes her FOUR days to get back to you? And then, she doesn't even call you herself, she has someone else do it? I've not been in therapy for awhile but is this considered acceptable now? If this is normal, I owe my old therapist a gold-embossed thank you card and a contribution to his favorite charity.

    Therapists are terribly busy people and worn thin by the calls on their emotions, I get that. If you like this therapist, I'd keep that appointment and let her know how hurtful this was. Four days while in crisis is too long. Since she has no problem getting other people to make her phone calls for her, she should have had someone call you on day one. I agree with may71 - it's worth forgiving if you feel she's generally been helpful. But I'd definitely let her know this kind of thing is not okay.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    4 days in a crisis does seem a bit much but maybe she had something going on at her end. I would suggest sticking with your appointment and see how it pans out. I went back to therapy today for the first day in months and it was great, I was fretting over it for days too but it will be grand, try and relax and write down things that you want to bring up in the therapy session, your worries your fears, your mood etc.. You will be OK. :hug:
     
  7. ScarlettHurts1990

    ScarlettHurts1990 Active Member

    Ugh man I know how it feels to be healthy and then sink back into depression! I was happy and healthy for five years, like you, before I had a terrible relapse. Now all I think of is killing myself. It's demoralizing to feel good and be productive and then fall right back into a hole. I know how hard that is! Keep your head up, we care about you here! And that therapist definitely needs a slap in the face, that's totally unacceptable for her to take that long in crisis.
     
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