It's been 6 months. I am a failure, apparently I lie to myself too cause I promised myself I would never ever go back to sh. I can't help it, it's nagging at the back of my mind. It feels too right to stop? I have never been a massive fan of talking to professionals, but I really do want to stop relying on it. It's getting worse, whereas I used to think of the consequences if people found out, I now don't care. I know it really isn't right to want to do it, and not care about anything else, I don't want it to swallow me up again. My life does not revolve around it anymore and talking to people is a last resort for me. What can I do?