It's been a few days and I am still very much alive {trigger}

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DoubledStratum, Jun 26, 2016.

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  1. DoubledStratum

    DoubledStratum Well-Known Member

    So, for background I am in the UK and have been bounced from GP to CBT to outpatient care. I followed these treatments as far as I could as friends were pressing me to do so.

    However, a few days ago I decided to XXXXX (methods). Since then I've experienced bloating, bloody stools and general malaise , but it's been 3 days and I'm still here.

    I'm upset. I'd like to be dead. I'm going to come clean to my outpatient carers tomorrow, but I wondered if anyone has any idea what the next steps will be, or if I'm jumping the gun? It seemed like a lot to me, so I'm confused that it's not had a huge effect on me.

    Advice?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 26, 2016
    DoubledStratum, Jun 26, 2016
    #1
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    The GP will probably take blood tests. What about going to the hospital now?
     
    Rockclimbinggirl, Jun 26, 2016
    #2
  3. DoubledStratum

    DoubledStratum Well-Known Member

    I've been to A&E twice over the last week. It takes hours and is incredibly stressful, especially at night. I'd rather go tomorrow.
     
    DoubledStratum, Jun 26, 2016
    #3
  4. sa-chan

    sa-chan Active Member

    It might be the last thing you want to hear right now but get medical attention immediately!
    With this dosage you should skip the GP and get to a hospital directly. It might be inconvenient but it's still better than dealing with what might happen if untreated. I know you waited some days and it might seem like not so much to wait until tomorrow but "some days" is already much. Don't waste more time please this is important.
     
    sa-chan, Jun 26, 2016
    #4
  5. DoubledStratum

    DoubledStratum Well-Known Member

    I'd quite like to die though :/
     
    DoubledStratum, Jun 26, 2016
    #5
  6. sa-chan

    sa-chan Active Member

    We don't want you to die though.

    It's not even guaranteed you'll die from this but it will be for sure really painful/strenuous if you get nothing done about it.
    I'm sorry for not offering much emotional support right now but the top priority right now for you should be to get the proper medical attention.
     
    sa-chan, Jun 26, 2016
    #6
  7. DoubledStratum

    DoubledStratum Well-Known Member

    That'll happen in 9 hours. Shall keep you updated.
     
    DoubledStratum, Jun 26, 2016
    #7
  8. sa-chan

    sa-chan Active Member

    I don't know how hospitals work in the UK but I'd be really surprised if you had to wait long if you stated what you wrote in the first post.
    I understand you don't want to go now but it's an emergency. 9 hours is a lot I don't think it's worth to wait even longer.
     
    sa-chan, Jun 26, 2016
    #8
  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    DoubledStratum - please go to the hospital right now because of the symptoms you've listed. Wanting to die in a moment of distress can be regrettable if you must live for even a while with damage done by our own hand. Please get yourself checked out!
     
    Acy, Jun 26, 2016
    #9
  10. DoubledStratum

    DoubledStratum Well-Known Member

    I've been suicidal for a long while. This hasn't been something I've done on a whim - I'm more concerned with why it's not worked and what the procedures will be from hereonin.
     
    DoubledStratum, Jun 26, 2016
    #10
  11. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    If anyone knows why it didn't work, they won't explain it here - it's methods talk.

    The longer you wait to get emergency treatment, the more possible it is that you will have not-immediately-lethal injury to yourself that could cause you awful, horrible pain and illness down the road - perhaps at a time when you actually would rather live than die.

    Here is the thing...you ARE alive. Why not make the most of it and make the rest of it better now? Another idea, perhaps you could tell us what makes life so hard for you now. It's possible that someone here has had similar experiences and might be able to say how they coped with it and survived.

    I think it would be sad to lose you because you are another person and you're just trying to get through in life like anyone else. It's hard when things upset us; it's a shame to kill ourselves over it. People who know you really well would be extremely sad and distraught to lose you. Please, get yourself checked out at the hospital.
     
    Acy, Jun 26, 2016
    #11
    sa-chan likes this.
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