It's been a while... Can someone help me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by fms, Jul 23, 2009.

  1. fms

    fms Well-Known Member

    So, I've not posted on here for a wee while...
    Not because I've been feeling any better...
    I've been feeling much worse, to be honest, but that's not important...

    Here's my situation... :sad:
    I have a best friend... We'll call her A. And... I'm in love with her. I told her this. She said she loved me back. She has a boyfriend called B. But... she told me she loved me more than B... That I was the only person stopping her from killing herself... She told me she loved me more... And I got my hopes up... :sad:
    A lives in England. And so, I'm going to visit her for 10 days this Saturday... But she's still with B. And she wants me to meet B. And I... I want to be able to because I don't want her to have to choose whether to spend time with me or B, but... how do I cope with that? How do I cope with seeing them together? I mean, it might not be so bad, if there was a group of people that I knew. But they're all strangers to me. And I am... SO shy, that I just clam up around new people... And what if it's just... her, B and me? What do I do? I can't just... avoid them together... :sad:
    I'm beginning to regret planning this trip. I love her so much, but it's going to hurt... I'm trying to be happy for her, but... It's just difficult. I'm selfish. I wish she'd chose me...
    If anyone has any advice on how to deal with this, that would be great.
    Hope you are all doing okay :smile:
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    All you can really do is try to be happy for her. Maybe someday things will change and she'll be with you instead and you can hope for that. For the time being though I would just hope that he is treating her right and everything. And at least you still have her as a friend. Things can change between the 2 of you. She may just come around and realize he's not the one for her and its been you this entire time.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I don't know if putting yourself in this situation is really going to be good for you. If you don't think you can handle it do you think you could call her and just tell her how it will be upsetting to you. Be open with her maybe she will recognize the impossible position you will be put in. I hope all goes well and if she is truly happy with the other person then you need to move on and find someone who loves you fully. I think going would be very hard please let us know how everything turns out.
  4. wibble

    wibble Well-Known Member

    OK, for continuties sake, lets call the OP C :rolleyes:

    Please be careful. When I was working for the samaritans I came across many similar situations. You mention A loves C more than A loves B. If thats right, why is A still with B? :blink:

    Please don't think I'm trying to piss on your chips, I'm really not, I'm just saying go careful. By all means, if it seems like the right thing, and you can get the courage up to do it, then go for it, but don't rush in half cocked or else it could end badly. Pick your moment.

    Look, its not constantly going to be A&B, A&B, there will be time when its just A&C. Talk to her, if you don't ask, you'll never know.

    Edit: Please don't call yourself selfish, theres nothing selfish about your situation. If anyone could be accused of being selfish, its got to be A, B is probably completely unaware of whats going on!