And by a while, I mean quite a long time =O it's been 8 months. I'm not gonna talk about everything I did wrong back then. I can keep that short and simple. I misbehaved several times, had plenty of warnings, and at some point it just got way out of control, which caused me to get banned. Now I'm unbanned. Which I'm very very pleased about. I don't expect everyone to be all happy about 'my return', I'm not delusional. I hurt and/or upset a lot of people with my behaviour back then. And I truly am sorry for that. But at least now, 8 months further down the road I know what has caused a lot of my behaviour. In the 8 months that I was away, I've been at therapy (still am). 4 days a week throughout the day, group therapy, plus individual therapy, and just recently I've also started individual therapy to learn to control my emotions and deal with my anger.. I guess it's sorta like anger management. They've told me what's 'wrong' with me: (the translations might be a bit wrong, I'm not sure of the English terms for everything) I've got depression, identity issues, parent-child relationship issues, BPD traits, and they also think I might have ADD/ADHD, which I will see the psychiatrist about next month. Also I've been having meetings with my parents and my therapist, to work on our relationship. And we talked about my mother 2 weeks ago, which was good as I finally got a lot of answers about her, which means I am finally able to start grieving properly. So all in all, I've changed a lot, and I got to understand my own behaviour better. My anger fits for one, could be due to the BPD. The fact that I was hammered all the time and on drugs, didn't exactly help either, which is one of the reasons why I've cut down on all of that massively. Nowadays I only drink when I'm going out, or at parties and I only do drugs like once or twice a month. Anyway, I guess that's what I wanted to say.