It might not be good that I'm back. But I have given up on myself. I have no desires anymore, I want nothing and I am giving everything away. My games and electronics, money and jewelry, ambition and desire. I don't want anything anymore, I just want to leave. I don't want to be a part of the world around me, I don't want to try in vain anymore. I don't want to be a part of my family anymore, I just can't be comfortable around them. I don't care to make friends because I will just leave like I've always done. And I don't want my future because I don't want to work for an empty promise anymore. I'm just living day to day now and I'm starting to make concrete plans instead of swimming in the fantasy that I've had for over a decade. I don't care about my success I just want to leave. But most of all I want everyone else to feel the pain of loss so they will finally understand me. This is how I want to reach out to them. I'll take a trip maybe in a couple of months, Oct., Nov., Dec. One of those months I will leave the country on a one way trip to a random country that will pick ot of the blue. I'll bring a little cash but nothing else because I'll travel to that country to die. I want to be as far away from my life as possible and die the same way I was born, the same way that I lived. I want to die foreign, alone, and empty. Its been a while since I've posted here, I don't know if I'll be able to post in a few months.