It's been about six weeks...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Groznyji, Dec 21, 2011.

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  1. Groznyji

    Groznyji Active Member

    I've been constantly thinking about dying for about six weeks now. I thought I'd feel a bit better after the stress of final exams had passed, but I don't. I'm not even excited about going home for the holidays.

    I'm always anxious and I always feel like I have to be doing something. When I have nothing to do I end up pacing or going for long walks to random places. I also wake up frequently during the night and have trouble falling back to sleep. I wind up simply getting out of bed much earlier than I should.

    I'm simply spent.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sounds like you are just over tired hun I do hope when you get home you talk to your doctor okay get on something for your anxiety and something to help you sleep Let your doctor know about those thoughts too hun Time now to get you stable okay get you feeling better before you have to go back to school hugs
  3. Groznyji

    Groznyji Active Member

    Thanks for the thoughts.

    I refuse to take medication for anxiety and depression based on how I've seen other people I know react to it. I don't want to feel numb.

    I've taken some over the counter medication to help me sleep. It works well but if I take it every day I quickly build a tolerance, so that's not really a permanent fix.

    I feel like the only think that will truly help is some fundamental change to the way I live my life. I just need to figure out exactly what that change involves.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Changing ones way of living can decrease stress get out of the environment that is causing the anxiety i see that NOt everyone goes numb when taking meds whoever was that way was on too high a dose but that is your choice hun I agree making changes in ones lifestyle can help decrease the pressures you are under
  5. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Dear Grozynji,

    I hope you are able to sleep well and relax while at home... spending time with your family sounds like healthy interaction.. Maybe they can cheer you up and get you out of feeling stuck in such a bad place. I've learned that it is hard to find medication that matches what each person needs... It took me a while, almost two years - and many med changes - for me to feel any kind of improvement in my mood from any medicine. Until I ended up in the hospital, I had lost faith in medicine.. It might feel like you're bulletproof from unpleasant reactions to meds by refusing, but a psychiatrist or others can work with you to get the balance right.. Please be safe with you, and I'm sorry this holiday season is so painful lately.. ((Hugs))

  6. sevendust

    sevendust Active Member

    Can relate to what, you've shared. I think the same quite often, need a change in my life, but haven't figured out exactly what it is. Over the past few years, I developed persistent fear, I've never experienced before. I'm afraid to try anything new, because decisions I've made in the past, led me to where I am today. Make any sense. Such as loving/caring for people, more then myself. Seems, I need to redevelop, love/care for myself, after being beaten down, but just don't know how, or what it's going to take. Hope the future is brighter for you :)
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