well, it has been a long time. i am afraid it's the end to what seemed would never be an issue again. i've had a week from hell and all i have felt like doing is cutting and burning. while it has been five yrs. i am afraid my record has come to a end. i keep cutting and burning and want to keep going like i will never have the chance again. maybe it's just about making up for lost time. who knows. what i do know is i'm a failure. maybe if i'm lucky i'll cut deep enough and i won't have to worry about this shit anymore or anything else for that matter. i'm tired and don't want to keep pressing forward. oh well, not like it matters though. just thought i would get this off of my chest.