I was 28 and she was 20. We dated 2 1/2 years and often talked about marriage after she became a nurse. Then she started acting differently and 2 months later she was telling me that although she loved me she wanted to break up, that she needed to be free but that maybe one day we would get back together. I tried my best to be supportive and wanted to stay friends because she was my life and I loved her madly and her family was very much my family too. Soon after she started dating again and 4 months later she was in a relationship that is still going on to this day. I've been in a deep depression for most of the last 2 years. Depression, weight loss, suicidal thoughts and planning (going to rooftops but being unable to jump or cutting but not cutting deep enough), anxiety, staying in bed... I've been on medication for decade and my doctor and I have tried different dosages and drug combos and sometimes I feel better for a week or two but it always comes back just as strong. I've hit rock bottom so many times but I can't stop thinking of her every day. I haven't talked to her in a year, just one text to say happy birthday. I couldn't handle seeing her act strange around me. She new I was in pain and she would often act guilty or get angry with me. So I've done what I could. Doctors and medication, exercise, dating, even getting into a fairly long relationship, but she's always in my thoughts no matter what. I'm keep breaking down and crumbling to the floor some nights, sobbing like a child! My reason tells me I'll never see her again, this is no movie or great romantic novel, but I feel like suicide is the only way whenever I tell myself that this is fact, that I'll feel her love again. What can I do!?