Okay, so, I've been here for over four years now, so I guess this is the safest place. I've been a cutter on and off for the past eight or so years. I finally thought I kicked the habit, but when my best friend died last December, I relapsed. When I relapsed, I had just began living with my boyfriend of now 11 months. He knew about my problems with cutting, but he still didn't approve. The last time I relapsed was just a couple of months ago. I was wearing my Kiss Army armband to cover it, but he was suspiscious instantly. I managed to put off him seeing under the armband for a while until one day when I was scratching at the cuts under the band he yanked the band off and saw them. That's when he threatened that if I do it again, he could no longer be with me, because he was too frightened he would lose me. Well, this morning I was so upset with everything that I got fed up and did it. I couldn't take it. The cuts aren't bad at all, just raised up and red. They could easily be passed off as scratches from our new kitty, but I want soooooo much more now. Yeah, there's a million places on the body to cut and hide, but there's not really a single spot that my boyfriend doesn't see. Hell, we sleep together. I'm just so confused. I'm so miserable and I want this anxiety to go away. I know how to make it go away, but I can't do it without possibly losing my boyfriend. What can I do?