its best for me and everyone around me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by crazybill, Dec 13, 2006.

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  1. crazybill

    crazybill New Member

    I guess i have a drinking problem . i used to drink alot and i had a couple driving while drunk issues with the law many years ago . i got another charge for drinking/driving in june and the following day my girlfriend took her kids and moved out while i was at work . i went gome that night and at ALOT of pills , chased them with alcohol and went to bed . Unfortuantly i awoke in the hospital the following day . Seems i was found early enough a week in the hospital and i was back on my feet .
    well i went back to work and got a new girlfriend that just lit up my life .
    last week i discovered she couldnt be with me anymore because she had another boyfriend she apparenty loves more than me . so what do i do... i go out and get drunk and get arrested for driving yet again .
    so now im alone and ooking at going to jail for a very long time and losing everything i own and have worked for my whole life . Im 34 years old and i dont want to be going on 50 and looking at starting life over from scratch .
    I dont want to be a burden on everyone around me because i am not allowed to drive a car and need toted around . i dont want to live with my parents because i lost my house while im in jail and cant pay for it . Ill have shit credit and no job . Ill be alone... no self respecting woman will want anything to do with me .
    I can blame nobody but myself . People wont be suprised although only a few members of my immediate family know of my recent arrest .
    I already know i want to do this on new years eve . i know how and at what time . Ive put extensive thought into this and im sure its what i need to do . I see i have nothing left to live for . Ive found homes for my pets . that broke my heart and i cried for an afternoon .
    I kept waiting for some kind of good Karma or luck to finally come my way . Seems bad things happen to me all the time . Last year i had my thirty thousand dollar motorcycle stolen and no insurance at the time . 3 women this summer i loved and all cheated on me leaving me for another man .
    and now this..... I no longer wish to endure anymore . I dont want to give life a chance to test me anymore . ive had all i can take... Life... you win . i surrender . This is not a quick emotional response to somthing . its a thought out and accepted decision .
    There are many things i wish i had done but many more im glad i did . I wonder what will happen to my stuff . I adore my motorcycles and dont know what'll come of them . Ilove my dogs like children and hope theyll be healthy and happy in thier new homes . that breaks my heart but i woudnt be abe to be with them if im in jail anyways so i cant win .
    Do i want to die ? no , i wish there was another way out . but there isnt . This is it . this is it....
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Wait. Are you sure that this will end in jail time?
    OK you might lose your license for a while, but I take it you didn't hit anyone with your car whilst driving under the influence.

    Before you go to court. Get a good solicitor. Go to the docs and tell him/her the whole sorry tale. That way you'll get help with the drinking and it can be used as extenuating cricumstances with the drunk driving conviction.

    Get your pets back as soon as you know you're not doing jail time.

    Find some nice woman, someone who won't cheat. If all the women you've met are cheating then your going for the same type all the time.

    Find out where you stand before making any rash or panicky decisions. So get that legal advice!!!!

    Let me know how you get on.
  3. crazybill

    crazybill New Member

    I already have spoken with a legal advisor . Ill be looking at possibly 4 years in jail and 5-10 years without a license .
    Whats crazy is before saturday night i hadnt had a drink in almost a month . i made an exception for a friends going away party and was going to stay right down the street at someones house . a 5 minute drive turned into a turning point in my life .
    I dont expect answers . i dont know if i just had to talk about this or what . like i said before i wish there were another alternative... i just dont see one .
  4. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    There isn't a way out of emotional tragedies . . as well as other tragedies . .
    but there are WAYS of dealing with them, and if you're really enthusiastic

    you can turn the most hair-raising, butt-crunching, head-twisting,
    arm-decapitating, mouse-constipating. saliva-evaporating event into a fun one^^
  5. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Definitely don't do anything before you've even had your trial. Here is some good advice: go across state lines and get yourself an out-of-state license. This way, even though your license from the state in which you were arrested will most likely be revoked at trial, your out-of-state license will not because of jurisdiction issues. Also, join AA and go to meetings. The judge will look very favorably on this. Go see a therapist and tell him/her about your suicidal tendencies. The therapist will be able to testify for you in court as well. If you have a good lawyer, I would be willing to bet you will not go to jail (someone in my family has gone through the same thing several times, so I am speaking from experience here). If you have a job, some judges will even allow you to serve jail time on the weekends (not much fun, but it's not prison either). You can get out of this. It is obvious that you are very sad about leaving this life, so to do so would be a tragedy.
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