I have been planning this holiday for months so that I don't screw it up. I carefully thought out everything I would do and say. It worked for maybe 3 hours. And then it all fell to pieces. I screwed up everything. And all I want at this moment is to cut. But I'm in a house full of family and I made the stupidest decision to wear short sleeves. I can't believe I screwed up Christmas for everyone. I just want to go back to my house and cut and go to sleep.