Again, here i am again. I've posted here before and alof of the things i've read here have kept me sane for the most part. I hate this time of yr or whenever it gets cold, something bad ALWAYS happens 06 ,07,08,09. In 06 i had an abortion around this time of yr ( hardest fucking choice i ever made) in 07 i lost my damn mind complete breakdown, lost my job because i couldnt go to work and had to move away from my then bf because he couldnt deal with me. Left my friends, family and everything i knew. In 08 i thought i was getting my life back together i even met someone that i made me happy and slowly i began to have dreams again. We went off and on for awhile and in november of last year he told me that he was with someone else, It crushed me and i found it hard to get up again, to go to work but i had to. My dreams were replaced my nightmares again and my smile i would have on my face everytime i would hear his voice was replaced by tears whenever the phone rang and it wasnt him. He wasnt the only reason i felt this way he was just the last person in a long line of ppl who broke promises and left me. And this yr when i thought everything was "OK" i got use to being alone not having anyone to talk too and my days just being me going to work and coming home. He started talking to me again and said he was sorry, said he wouldnt hurt me again, just he cared about me and eveytrhing was so great for while, even though we both had things that needed to be fixed in our lives it seemed like we made each other happy. I would see him and every problem i had would go away. They time we had together was such an escape for me but now its cold and i can feel it coming, he's being distant again and i can all most hear him telling me again that he is going to be with someone else and it just makes me tired , i have no other word for what my life is im just tired.