it's different this time....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by twistedwhispers, Feb 5, 2011.

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  1. twistedwhispers

    twistedwhispers Member & Antiquities Friend

    It's not that I want to die, I never have. Even when my depression was at it's worst. I didn't want to die. I just didn't want to feel the way I did.

    Some very bad things are happening in my life. One is going to cause me to have to try (and hopefully succeed) ending my life before February 17th. I don't mean to sound so cryptic. If I wait until after what happens on the 17th to do it, I might not be able to. What happens will crush me. I have to go before then. I have to. I have no choice.

    I worry so much about failing..........that would suck big time.

    I wish everyone the best. I hope & pray you are able to beat/overcome your demons. I hope you get help & find a reason to live.

    Funny.........I sure don't practice what I preach. Oh well.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey TW,
    I'm sorry to hear you are under stress..Suicide is not the answer.. I think I know what your going thru..I have a couple of things hanging over my head..I'm not going to kill myself..Sometimes you have to just go with the flow..I wish you the best..
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you do feel better today i hope you reach out for support hugs
  4. Caster

    Caster Well-Known Member

    If you feel comfortable telling us, what will happen on the 17th? If you don't want to say that's ok too. I hope you feel better though. I understand your pain...I'm at my wits end too. Please stay strong and keep posting.
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    I worry about anyone succeeding. That would more than suck. Not often I wish failure but with suicide I always wish people fail. Medical exceptions exists but depression big or minor is NEVER going to be enough reason to justify dying.

    As for the 17th you have pencilled in the diary - if living after this date means you have to stay alive for some reason or other - I'm wondering is it marriage, a funeral, eviction or something?

    Hard to see WHY you have this idea but I'm not wishing to know if its some private thing. Either way you have to forget about this exit. I'm figuring the reason you hint at is not a reason when you have a clear mind of sorts.
  6. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    can i ask why feb 17th?
    I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. things must have gotten pretty bad for it to be this bad.
    i know you're feeling this way now, but from my calculations there's nearly a fortnight between now and then - please leave your mind open and williing for a change of heart! feelings change, don't hold on to them
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Why do you feel that you have to die before the 17th? Whatever is supposed to happen, i'm sure it isn't that bad? :hug:
  8. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    Please can you say and talk to us? Whatever it is, can you tell us about it? :hug:
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