It's not that I want to die, I never have. Even when my depression was at it's worst. I didn't want to die. I just didn't want to feel the way I did. Some very bad things are happening in my life. One is going to cause me to have to try (and hopefully succeed) ending my life before February 17th. I don't mean to sound so cryptic. If I wait until after what happens on the 17th to do it, I might not be able to. What happens will crush me. I have to go before then. I have to. I have no choice. I worry so much about failing..........that would suck big time. I wish everyone the best. I hope & pray you are able to beat/overcome your demons. I hope you get help & find a reason to live. Funny.........I sure don't practice what I preach. Oh well.