I have had enough. I've put the plan into action and even as the poison entered my body I felt peace. It wont kill me right away, I may have a few days to two weeks but the point is that I am now past the failsafe point. No matter what, it cannot be undone. I am going to die, its just that simple. I know that it will be painful in the end, but not nearly as painful or cruel as life has been. Besides, it will just remind me that soon the curtain closes and I will be a bother to no one ever again. I know you might not belive me, but thats altight, why should anyone listen to me now when Ive been ignored for the last 46 years? I just wanted someone to know I am sorry. I am sorry I wasnt good enough to love. I am sorry for being responsible for every bad thing that has ever happend to anyone that has ever been in my lfe. I am sorry I was a joke, a game, a plaything that you got bored of. I tired to do good, I really did.