So I have a friend. (...I know such an old line to begin a problem...) She told me once about around a year or two ago that she liked me, had feelings for me. I gently let her down since I was in a relationship already and at the time I thought it was going to be a permanent one (apparently wasn't since it was the ex I've ranted about in the past). We've been friends for 10-11 years now. Really good friends. She's helped me from killing myself. I mean, she is like my best friend ever and I would do anything for her, including give up my life if it meant she would survive. We can talk and joke about anything and have spent long hours awake chatting on the computer over nothing. When she comes to visit me we have spend hours upon hours doing nothing and still have fun. The thing is...there are times I feel like I could defiantly be in a relationship with her. More then friends. Normally I'd just tell her and see where it goes. But after my ex and how she treated me after we broke up, it makes me kind of scared. Mainly because if we weren't friends any longer then I'd have no one left, and that would be the last thing I could handle. I mean I keep telling myself she isn't like that. Where with my ex I knew she had those flaws, I knew she could easily turn on you if she wasn't always the first person. But my friend, she always worries about others; she always puts herself first and always worries about others feelings. I keep telling myself that if it didn't work we could still be friends because of this, because she isn't like my ex. But at the same time, it just...I guess scares me that I could loose my last friend out there. I don't make them easily because of how quiet I am. Off track slightly I know. And maybe I'm worrying too much- but sadly that's me, the one that will always over analyze everything and worry over everything. And this is a huge worry for me. I know in love and relationships we ALWAYS face these risks. I just don't know if I should go for it or not. It's been almost a year since me and my ex broke up and in some ways I still end up hurting over what she did. But also I want to move on, I have to move on. I just don't know how sometimes... I'm sorry for the rambling, so sorry. Sometimes my mind doesn't seem to make sense with how it goes in circles.