So I've opened this tab quiet a few times and begun to write whole stories just to let the tab close again. I just can't feel justified in putting down my thuoghts because I feel like it's all worthless and I'm just going to get told I'm wrong anyways. That's always been the probelm. I guess you can say I've been a part of the whole "Instagram Society" for the depressed and while I've made a few friends on there I've realized it's not helping. It doesn't get better and, yeah, I know there's always something to live for but it never leaves, does it. I just get angry at everyone and then I never expect anyone to understand. It's hard enough making new friends but then you laden them down with all this extra shit and it gets tough because you know they don't really want to be there or they get tired of you. And I know this because I've done it to other people. I guess this is a really crappy introduction. Fine. Hi, I'm Eleanor, although I call myself Lin sometimes because that's the better part of the two idiots in my head. I don't exactly know how these go because I didn't want to look through anyone else's before I wrote mine and get discouraged from writing it so I don't know if that's selfish or whatever but anyways. So I guess basically I turned to a forum because I got tired of Instagram and people telling me that I had a lot to live for and whatever because I felt like they were just arguing with me; the whole point in me writing was because I was upset and I wanted someone to be upset about it with me, not be my shoulder. I've been on Proboards before and I like to write and Roleplay because I like forming relationships with others that I wish were real. I like putting myself on paper. But I gave up after I discovered most of the forums dried up or people had no interest in chatting with the newbie. I hate reality because if I'm not in school, everything's stressing me out. I'd like to get a second and third job but I've got three more months until I turn eighteen and it's too difficult and I don't like sitting around and all of my hobbies have become dull and all of my friends are back in school but I graduated a year early and couldn't pay my tuition so I'm stuck home for a year. I've been getting discouraged lately and I can't find a muse for anything. It all just really hurts. So I just want a friend. Another friend I guess. I just want to be in a big group again so that I can fade into the background without being forgotten. Like a warm hug, yknow? So, if there's anything else you'd like to know I guess just ask. My favorite color is purple.