its enough

[may71]

@may71 thank you for the contact details

You're welcome!

i did phone today but i hung up when someone answered... idk why but i got really scared and i freaked out :/

I think that's ok. Maybe sometime in the future you might feel like calling.

Mailing them would probably be ok too. They also have online counselor chat moday to friday 2-6 pm

about the feeling bad about asking for help...its just that i feel that i waste everyones time and im not worth their time i guess

Feeling that way is probably a sign that you need and deserve the help

 

[Ania]

@may71 im going to try again tomorrow or maybe before i go to bed. im kind of scared that they will say i have to go to a home or something

 

[may71]

@may71 im kind of scared that they will say i have to go to a home or something

I think they say that you can contact them confidentially. You may be able to verify with them that they are not going to force you to do anything before you tell them anything about yourself.

 

[Ania]

ill definitely ask them before i talk about anything

i only have another 2 years before i can move out anyway so im going to try to stick it out i guess

 

[may71]

They're unlikely to make you move somewhere else if you don't want to go. They might try to get a social worker involved in talking to you and maybe also your mom.

I think there might also be drop-in centers that you could go to if you just want to be away from your mom for a while during the day.

 

[Ania]

ill try to talk to them tomorrow and see what they would do. if social services gets involved then they will take me away and i dont want to go coz i know a girl from my school who is in an orphanage close to our school and she is totally unhappy

 

[Ash600]

I'm glad that you feel comfortable here. Just keep on talking @Ania we are all here to support you. And give them a go, contact them and talk to them as much as you want.

 

[Ash600]

ill try to talk to them tomorrow and see what they would do. if social services gets involved then they will take me away and i dont want to go coz i know a girl from my school who is in an orphanage close to our school and she is totally unhappy

Good luck with talking with them tomorow, may it all go in your favour.

 

[Ania]

if i get enough courage to actually say something this time :p

 

[Ash600]

if i get enough courage to actually say something this time :p

Ania, as I've said, just imagine as if you're talking to one of us

 

[Ania]

ill try but youre nice and when they answer they dont sound like i imagine you guys sound. i know its totally silly and im being stupid but it seriously makes me feel weird adn then i lose my courage i guess

 

[Ash600]

I guess its a case of trying to listen to the words, and not the accent. I've encountered exactly the same situation myself from both sides of the coino_O But just keep in mind that their aim is to listen and help you. So deep breaths and take as much time as you need.

 

[Ania]

its not the accent, just they dont sound so nice as i think you would i guess. idk... i guess im being dumb again but i promise ill try

 

[Ash600]

All you can do is try, so give it your best shot....
...and let us know how you got on.

And you're not being dumb about this, you can do this, as I believe in you.

 

[may71]

. i guess im being dumb

It's understandable that you are worried, you're not being dumb.

My guess is that your situation is a lot different from the girl who is in the orphanage. If her parents are dead and she doesn't have any other relatives, then the orphanage is really the only place that she can go.

Social services are much more likely to try to resolve the situation with counseling with your mom than to take you away. I don't think it's likely that they will try to force you to leave against your will.

 

[Ash600]

It's understandable that you are worried, you're not being dumb.

My guess is that your situation is a lot different from the girl who is in the orphanage. If her parents are dead and she doesn't have any other relatives, then the orphanage is really the only place that she can go.

Social services are much more likely to try to resolve the situation with counseling with your mom than to take you away. I don't think it's likely that they will try to force you to leave against your will.

I totally agree with what @may71 says. orphanage is the last option, not the only option. They'll have a duty of care both to you and your mom and so should try to work out a solution which will be best for both of you.

 

[Ania]

So i spoke to someone at childline and they said that it is totally confidential and they just want to help. So i tell her what happened to my sisyerd and stuff and whats going on with my mom, thwn ahe says that she has to tell me that if she feels im in danger then she has to call the police and social sevicea so thay can take me away from my house.... wtf? So i hung up and im freaking out that the cops are going to come to take me away.... idk what to do

 

[Kira]

Please don't panic @Ania
If the call is confidential then I don't know why they would say that :/
Did you give any personal details? Even if you did I highly doubt that the police are coming! Please relax and we'll try to come up with other solutions, ok?

The thing that frustrates me with this is that I don't know the law for minors in South Africa. Sorry if I ask things that you have already said. Have you spoken to a GP? Therapist? School councillor? There must be a safe place for you to speak to someone without them threatening with police intervention.
Hold on sweetheart, we'll find something for you. And keep talking here as much as you need to. Sending massive hugs to you. Kira oxox

 

[Ash600]

Ania, I'm sorry to hear what happeend when you rang up childline. it seems as if the person wasn't constructive in their advice at all. Just as @Kira has suggested, it maybe would be better to speak to your doctor,school counsellor, or teacher who you can relate to, as they may be more aware of what options may be available to you witihn the area.

 

[Lara_C]

Childline UK only break confidentiality if

• they believe your life or someone else’s life is in danger
• you're being hurt by someone in a position of trust who has access to other children like a teacher or police officer
• you tell them that you're seriously harming another person.

More info on their confidentiality promise here: https://www.childline.org.uk/about/confidentiality-promise/

In the UK, it's highly unlikely social services would remove you against your will, unless you were in serious danger, and only until the danger had passed. They have a legal duty to try to keep families together, and reunite them as soon as possible. They would try to work with you and your mom to safeguard you and improve outcomes for you. I think this is what would happen where you live too. Please don't be scared, and keep reaching out because you deserve all the help and support you can get.