its for the best

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by leah82, Feb 2, 2012.

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  1. leah82

    leah82 Member

    Today something in me changed.
    I dont know how or why maybe it was a sign that its ment to be this way.
    All i know is im no longer afraid to die.
    After my first failed attempt ive been to scared to try.
    To scared to fail again.
    But no more i finally know what to do and for the first time i feel kinda happy.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Happy? Maybe it is a feeling coming from being in more control of what is going on, and that you should look into other ways to safely, and with self concern, find these strategies...so sorry you are feeling this way, and please continue to let us know what is going on
     
  3. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Can you tell us what changed Leah?
    Hope you can talk to us rather than anything else?
     
  4. leah82

    leah82 Member

    What changed is that i no longer have to energy or desire to continue fighting with myself.
    I just want it all to be over and for the pain to stop.
    Its not worth it Im not worth it.
     
  5. wpdnomad

    wpdnomad Member

    Hi Leah,

    Just within the last 18 hours I felt like you did and thought it would never stop. But I managed to distract myself by reading a bunch of posts on here and suddenly I didn't feel so hopeless. If a mutant like me can do it then somebody as wonderful as you damn sure can. You are worth it Leah! I am a former junkie and even I'm worth it. How about giving yourself a 24 hour breathing space? We need you and I know you are loved. Please just 24 hours k? Hugs to you.

    BillyD
     
  6. leah82

    leah82 Member

    Thanks BillyD. Unfortunetly im not a good person im actually a horrible one. If you knew. me you would agree and im deffinetly not loved.

    Ps.I dont think your a mutant :)
     
  7. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You are worth it, you are worth fighting for.
    What is making you feel so down, what thoughts are you having?
     
  8. wpdnomad

    wpdnomad Member

    Now Amiga you cannot possibly be worse than me. Until last july I spent my previous 10 years being a disgusting heroin addict who was hellbent on throwing my life away. I miraculously turned that around so there is yet hope for everyone who still is suffering. If peeps can still love me after that I bet yours think you are the bee's knees! Lets us, you and I together, stick it out just for today. I don't have any easy answers or quick fixes but I know we can do that. K?

    BillyD and hugs to you
     
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