It's funny really how people reach a certain pass. Everyone thinks I'm fine, they always think I'm fine and yet what have I spent the week doing? searching out all the ways and methods a person can use to end it all. Found some pretty good ones too and the frightening thing is they even tell you what dosages etc for your body mass. I was brought up to believe that suicide was a sin and part of me know I will be damned for this, but I feel pretty much that I'm damned whatever happens. I am sure people will say oh there's always an answer and yes there probably is, but the part of me that lives in fear every day, the part of me that knows something fundamental died in me some months back, the part of me that is so tired of everything; well that part wants peace and that part is getting stronger. I am sorry to all the people who know me and care about me, I'm sorry that I'm keeping this all to myself but I didnt want you talking me out of it. Sometimes life really is just too hard and I am so so tired.