its getting harder

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by andyc68, Oct 24, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i don't think i can keep up this act of being ok with people for much longer, everywhere i look the hope that is said to be out there just fades away, its all so blurry now. everyday i tell people i am fine, i am ok but inside my demons are pulling my insides apart, ripping my heart to shreds and messing with my mind.

    i can't think straight anymore, i can see what needs to be done but i can't make it work, all my energy and will to live is just slipping away minute by minute.
    i saw a house yesterday, it was nice and i could live there but the rent is too high for my wages yet thats the lowest around, ' you will br ok, you got some savings' is what i hear, but only enough to last a year at most, then i am back to square one again.

    and if i could make it work, so what! i don't want to live on my own, i can't do that, i don't want to live without my partner but i know by xmas that will be it, over and done with, goodbye andy time.

    fuck i got a messed up life, always hard. ex wife is bitching every 5 mins about some bullshit thing, just what i need. go ahead bitch, put me in my grave then see how hard it is to get money from me then!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    sorry, needed to vent but this is getting harder and harder and i don't know if i have got the energy to carry on with this, just want to sleep and not wake up.
     
  2. lil-sis-one-of-two

    lil-sis-one-of-two Well-Known Member

    Hi Andy

    I am so sorry your feeling bad.

    I dont know what to say life is a bitch.

    I am here if you need to talk.
     
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    thanks ebbie.

    nothing to say, i know what i need to do
     
  4. lil-sis-one-of-two

    lil-sis-one-of-two Well-Known Member

    What do you need to do?
     
  5. tired eric

    tired eric Member

    All I can say is that we must live very similar lives. I could have easily written your post about myself. I do not have much to offer to you my friend. I battle each day displaying a facade for the benefit of others, suppressing the despair and torment that burns inside of me. I may have arrived at my true end, but do know you are not alone.
     
  6. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    thanks eric, sometimes i wonder if it would be easier to say goodbye rather than carry on, i am so tired of this.
     
  7. Hatemylife88

    Hatemylife88 Well-Known Member

    Im just thinking the same:unsure:
     
  8. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    so tired of saying the same things, pretending i am just fine and happy when i am dying inside. i just want to end this pain. so hard to get thru a day alone surrounded by those i love. why do i always have to struggle to be happy?:sad:
     
  9. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    fuck this life, i need to take this pain away and i know how, back to plan A.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.