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It's getting to that point

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Pentacle, Oct 26, 2009.

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  1. Pentacle

    Pentacle Well-Known Member

    I've thought more about killing myself these past two weeks then I have for most of the year.

    The only problem is, I don't want to die.

    I just can't shake this inevitable failure feeling. I feel like my life is such a mess right now that it's never going to recover. I don't want to be who I am right now.
  2. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    hey, sorry things aren't going so good for you. it's positive that you don't actually 'wnat' to die :hug: whats has made you feel like a failure? if your uncomfortable with who you are at the moment, what do you think you could slowly start changing in order to rectify this? :hug:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello pentacle,

    Have you told anyone about how you are feeling at the moment? I think depression and feeling like a failure come hand in hand. Try and remember that it will pass. Did anything particulary bad happen these past two weeks? Any event that led to these strong suicidal thoughts?

    You don't want to be who you are right now. In what sense? and what way would you like to be? :)

    Know that you are definitely not alone here.
  4. Pentacle

    Pentacle Well-Known Member

    Sorry it took so long to reply, I've just been offline for a while.

    Yeah, something pretty big happened but it was last year, I lost 2 pregnancies very close to one another and I'm struggling to cope with that one my own. I tried to get help but was put on a 6 month waiting list, then after 6 months there was no help available.
    The father, who was for both children, and I do not get along because I found out he was cheating on me with someone else. I feel so inadequate, I can't keep my head above this tide of failure. I can't even do what a woman is made to do... It's so tiring.
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