Its getting worse

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Breathe, Aug 31, 2009.

  1. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    My parents are arguing with me more and more that i am scared to venture out my bedroom dare they find fault with me. But now they are starting to come into my bedroom to start shouting. I call them arguments but they are not. No. Its a one sided insult. They call me names, and say how lazy and untrustworthy i am. How i dont deserve what i have. I have to sit here and take it. If i try to stand up for myself it gets worse and they mock my attempts.

    I'm thinking of moving out for a few days or week before my college starts. I have £400 saved up from my summer job enough to live off and travel. I cannot take this verbal abuse anymore. I can't eat, i can't sleep and i fear for my very freedom and life. I am 17. Nearly a adult. I am a college student. I shouldn't have to fear my own parents.

    I am average and that is their problem with me. I get average grades, average looks and i keep to myself. But thats okay right? I mean i haven't gotten pregnant, i dont smoke, dont get drunk, dont do drugs, and i am never out late (if i ever do go out)

    My confidence and my own will to live is being beaten down by living here and i dont know how to deal. It feels as if they are trying to break me and i fear they are not far from doing as such. I need help with my depression, i need help with my parents, i need help with my life but i am too much of a coward to unforeseen circumstances. I need out of my life to step back and take a breath.
  2. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    At least i still have the will to not begin cutting again, i will feel as if i am betraying myself.
    At least i still have the will for now...
    But once i do begin again, i know i wont be able to pull through like i have done.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think going to a friends for awhile is a good idea. Once your in college i hope you are going to one away from where you live you will have the respect of your teachers and peers. I would talk to someone if you can a teacher minister priest councillor anyone to help you with this abuse. Once your in college there are councillors there and doctors who can help you with your anxiety and depression so hold on okay. College starts soon and I would go now and set up an appt to see councillor before school starts. Do it now so you can get support in place before school year starts. Keep talking to us here and if the violence continues at home then definitely get out go to another relatives place a friend anywhere let them know you are not going to take the yelling anymore as it is not helping you it is harming you. Write a letter to them explaining to them what they are doing to you and go stay at a friends house so you can breath a bit go have some fun.
  4. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    My college is not far, a hours walk so i would have to come back to this house every afternoon. My relatives have listened to my parents long enough to establish i am a "bad, lazy child" and they would easily betray me to my parents who would literally drag me kicking and screaming back home. As for my friends they have no room for me.

    Thank you for your advice. I will speak to my college councilor when the term year starts back up, other than that there is nothing i can do but take the abuse from them.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Im sorry to hear that I would spend as much time away from them as possible though Do you think a note poem anything given to your mom or dad would help them to see how much pain they are causing you. Take some money you have saved and treat yourself to something nice go shopping with your friends. At least you can vent here and we are listening take care okay and please do get coucilling started as soon as possible If the college is opened now go talk with a coucillor now okay.