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It's going to be alright - ?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Apr 14, 2015.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Really? At what point are things going to be alright? How do you know? How could you know?

    Yes, you can see my strength. That's great, but why don't I feel strong then? Even if it was just a little bit?

    You have no idea, simply no clue how I am feeling, living or perhaps existing.

    But yes, I have it all together, and it's going to be alright?

    At what point does me telling someone "I don't want to be here" turn into or become an indication I may need some help?

    But nope, just stay quiet, disappear. Believe me when I say I'm fine. But don't believe me when I say these other things.

    Really - Alright, everything will be just fine. For fucks sake.

    Open up - why? So those extremely secret of secrets are out there and not acknowledged? Do people even realize how much it takes to say some things in the open? And nothing, just silence. Okay, so I should have kept these things to myself then. Stupid bloody me, yet again.

    What does it take to be alright? And when will this happen, o wise people?

    I'm so fucking wound up tonight my body is shaking. Anxiety is really, really high. But, I have to "trust" that it's going to be alright? In this state I'm in, really? You think so?
  2. cie

    cie Banned Member

    Things aren't alright for a lot of people, but believing it WILL change is something people do to push through to the next day. However, things CAN change. Your post is vague, and that's fine, however I can only speak mostly in generalizations and assumptions and hope you can relate.

    I understand what you mean when you mentioned not wanting to be here is an indication you need help, sometimes you don't need to take action, or for someone else to, people need to talk sometimes and that can be enough or it can at least help. Most people haven't been here, they not only don't understand, they literally can't understand. Psychiatrists study for years just to try.

    Understanding others is underrated :) It is sad that telling people how things are for you is a negative thing when they try to do something about it and it's not what you need. Have been there. People are not willing to believe others can be in impossible situations.

    There's a lot of wishful thinking from ordinary people and even people here about how things always get better that they've completely convinced themselves of, and that's fine and good for them, but some of us live in our own realities rather than theirs, right?

    I don't know what your specific situation is but sickness robs us of most of our capability to improve our situations which is a horribly sad thing. If you stick around there's a chance that something unexpected will come your way regardless of how things are. Murphy's law of "What can go wrong, will go wrong" can be interpreted as "What can happen, will happen" - if you roll a 100 sided dice hoping each time for a 53, it may be the first roll or a million, but at some point it will land on a 53; point is when your situation is sticky at some time you're just going to have to hope the odds land in your favor and if my life experience has taught me anything - it does, but it can take a very long time or no time at all and is usually completely out of the blue.

    This is really just a really long way of answering your question rather than saying "In time, it will be alright". Hope you feel better soon.
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    :arms: I hope you feel better soon.

    I know this doesn't fix a thing, but it's a nice picture that shows spring is really arriving...link
  4. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member

    You can open the door or slamm it.

    It's up to you.

    What people are doing on the other side might depend on your behavior but ultimately it's also up to them

  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I am grateful for your responses.

    Dewonderland... I don't understand but thank you.

    Acy.. That pic put a smile on my face, thanks.

    cie... Thank you also. Yes I tend to be vague, sorry. Thank you for your thoughtful response.

    Regarding vagueness, it's a very good point. I'm scared of saying too much in the open, putting in details etc. It's just how I am, cautious. It is hard to trust, to feel safe. And even harder when I'm feeling more vulnerable than usual.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Just want to give you a hug! :hug:

    You're a wonderful person and you DO deserve it to be alright. Huge hugs to you :) Always here for you :)
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