it's going to be today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by notsomuch, Jan 8, 2012.

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  1. notsomuch

    notsomuch Member

    I've just simply had enough of feeling like this
    Every time I think a cornDr, im beaten round the head with it again.
    This is never going to end well for me
    Im sorry to the few that care
    But for me, this ends today
    It all ends today
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    How do you feel, can you tell us what thoughts are making you suicidal?
  3. notsomuch

    notsomuch Member

    life makes me feel this way
    My mother in law is the major catalyst today
    The lack of support and understanding I get from my partner makes it hurt more
    Im pretty worthless anyway

    If it wasn't this, it would be something else
    Years of playing at being normal
    Im done now
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Dose your partner know you feel worthless, and that this feeling is triggered by your mother in law?

    Please do not play at being normal, you should be able to be yourself.
  5. notsomuch

    notsomuch Member

    She knows how it makes me feel
    Today the inlaws are coming for lunch
    At this time, when.things are tight with money, I have prepared them a lovely meal ( which has to be the finest of foods. Mother dearest doesn't like cheap cuts or value range foods)
    This morning, the mother in law phones up and says she just wants it to be her family today, that she doesnt want me to be there.

    So, rather than tell them not to come, im told I have to go out for the day or face the wrath of the woman when she gets here for disrespecting her wishes

    All seems rather trivial, but it's enough to tip me over the
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 8, 2012
  6. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Oh dear, a wannabe matriarch by the sound of it. So this woman is coming to your house, and does not want you there? And she dictates the food that you can prepare for her?

    You must love your partner very much, to obey her mother in law's wishes like that.
    It's not trivial, it is an unpleasant pointer to where you stand in the family. Can you make changes?
  7. notsomuch

    notsomuch Member

    I can either put up with it
    Or I can leave

    I love my partner with all my heart
    But I'll always be second place
  8. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    You need to have a talk to your partner. This is causing you too much distress. You may be able ti find some middle ground, where you lessen her impact on your life.
  9. notsomuch

    notsomuch Member

    She treats my partner with equal contempt. When things are going as she desires and everyone is dancing to her tune, she's fine. I would meet ask my partner to cut her motherout of her life. Is becoming impossible to deal with.
    My partner's sister came to visit last week and it resulted in the mother calling and going mental becauseI didn't leave the house to "give them quality time together"
    I don't like my partner being stuck in the middle of all this. It takes it's toll on her too.
  10. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    But if your partner loves you, a suicide would devastate her. I'm serious, it would inflict a type of pain on her that doesn't end, and I don't think you want her to suffer that.

    Why not stick around here for a while? Keep posting, we're very good listeners, and probably someone or several have been in your place. You won't be judged.

    We care, and we'll give you the support and encouragement that friends do. There must be some other resolution to this situation,

    If you think putting your partner in the middle is bad, losing you would be worse than you can imagine.

    I know.
  11. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    People like your mother are a terror. Your partner does not have to cut her mother out of her life, just regulate her contact with you, show you are not willing to accede to all her demands.
    Do you talk to your partner about this? If it is driving you to consider ending your life, she will probably have noticed that it's getting to you, and may be glad if you bring it up.
  12. Jake.V

    Jake.V Banned Member

    If she is fuking you up this bad theres no reason to keep her in your life. You and your partner need to stand up and get the issue out in the open. Family or not theres no reason to allow someone to treat you so poorly.
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