It's good to be here

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by robroy, Oct 9, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    I'm 20 years old and have been periodically suicidal for a few years now, but not as I'm writing this, I just don't have anyone to talk to about these things right now. I don't think I have clinical depression, but I'm extremely sensitive and get hurt easily and there are occasionally bad moments where dying feels like a rational solution to pain. I guess I could sum up my problem as being a mix of loneliness and self loathing but I'm working on my self esteem and trying to reach out to people more. I know there are still a lot of really bad nights ahead of me, the kind where the pain feels like too much and it feels like no one cares, but I'm very greatful to have this community here when I need it. Thank you.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi robroy nice to meet you this place is a good one to just come and talk her on forum or chat people understand here and will not judge welcome to sf
     
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I apologise for this delayed welcome message. You need to remember you are important and no longer need to feel alone. You have joined a good community where we help one another. Dealing with loneliness is tough and very hard to deal when you are alone. Like you, I suffer from severe low esteem issues but I battle each day to become confident. I put a fake face mask just to cope with such issues and I'm alone I simply cry. It's very hard but I learn each day is a new life learning experience and you pick yourself up from ground to become confident for the day. I don't know for yourself but I try to be confident everyday by helping others. The kindness and friendship I show gives me inner confidence for a brief until I crash again.

    I recommend that that you speak to a therapist about your issues and try to develop coping mechanisms. It's hard at the moment but with help you can deal with issues your face. Please forgive me, if I have come across harsh but trying to give some advice from my personal experience.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forum, so glad that you can use this site as an outlet for help :) I hope things stay in the not suicidal area for you, but feel free to talk when you need to. We will listen. :) (hugs)
     
  5. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for the support. Unknown 111 I appreciate your advice and did not find it harsh, it's always comforting to hear from people who suffer the same problems I do as it makes me feel more normal and less lonely.
     
  6. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    robroy, Welcome to SF, I am a little older then you, I have been suicidal, I now believe all my life, at least as far back as I can remember. I did'.t know I had or suffered from Clinical Depression until almost recently, I was in denial! The "Men", boys, males in my immediate family were not allowed or encouraged to show emotions or even cry, I was told if I cried, That I would be given something to cry for or cry about! I have always been sensitive, I was very prone to tears, on the slightest hurt feelings or if I was spoken to harshly even, Today, Now at this time, I seem to be always crying, it seems I cannot stop!

    I went to my parents one day after I had run away from home I think I was 14 a freshman I think, I was taken to I believe a psychiatrist. I told him how and what I felt, he told me I would grow out of it. I didn't from that point on until I graduated I was constantly in trouble, I started having migraine headaches at about the same time, I still have them, not with the frequency I did back then I still have them just the same. I have had trouble making and keeping friends, so yes I have had loneliness as well as self loathing, I still do even having made a very good living, I am a hard worker, dedicated to my job to a fault, I have had relationships as well but I never ever felt good enough.to commit my self to the relationship!

    robroy, if I can give you anything, anything at all, now I do not know you or your resources, I do not know how you feel inside, in the SF you are being given a chance, You have come to a very good resource, take advantage of it, read and talk to the people here, learn all you can about your feelings and how to improve you self esteem that you say you are already working on and You loneliness as well, these things you can do something about, it is not to late for you get help, it is not going to be easy it will be hard, you might get frustrated, you might get tired of it, Like I said though if nothing else help yourself now! I am here if you would like to talk more, I think I perhaps talk a little to much some times, but i am here! I really hope you can learn to feel better about yourself, I wished I had, I don't think I would be here now if I had! It is not that hard to make Friends either "IF" you feel good about yourself inside! You are safe here you are with people that care and they will try to make your time here worth it, I sincerely hope you continue to work to make yourself a better person then you think you are now, I believe that you have taken the first step by coming here! I wish you success as well as a happy worthwhile life!
     
  7. robroy

    robroy Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your reply, I also grew up in a family where I was discouraged from showing pain and I never really was able to complain so now I have difficulty communicating emotions and connecting with people. At this point in my life I really wish I was able to cry because it feels like the bad feelings just pile up in my chest like a weight, but I just physically cannot unless I've been drinking. I'm practiceing being more vulnerable and honest with my friends in regular interactions. I look forward to talking more with you in the future True Lee.
     
  8. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    I will look forward and consider it a pleasure as well as an honor! Those bad feelings and emotions do pile up on you, they can make your life and living difficult, it can be crippling for you if it continues!
     
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum. I am glad you found us and have the courage to post some of your story. It can be a difficult process. I wasn't you to know we will do our best to help offer you support in your struggles. Take care :)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.