For some of you newer folks you probably don't know me. i keep pretty quiet and only pop in every once in a while when extremely suicidal. today doesn't happen to be one od those extremes but it is a bad one. i have been physically ill for over 3 weeks and the d just keeps getting worse. i keep trying to tell myself i want to live but it's just a lie and i know it. i was turned away from my psych appt 4 or so weeks ago because i have insurance but i don't have $100. i was told a lot of people drop their insurance because of it. now my therapist has relocated and i have absolutely no support. i am tired of fighting this thing. i know my kids would be better off without me. i just fail each and every time i try. i just wish someone would kill me. i hate my life and lately it is more than i can take.