Ive always been real good at hiding my feelings, but Im finding it to be tougher and tougher everyday. It just got alot rougher, and I dont think I can deal with it anymore. Now, the only reason I havent gone through with the act yet is the fact that Im 23, I still think that deep down somewhere theres the tiny hope that this could get better. But as of late, things are looking more and more dim. Ive felt this way ever since I was five, I would hide from people and pretend I was dead. As you can imagine its a little harder to hide these days....I jus dont know what to do anymore. I have nobody, nothing, laid off, and about to be evicted living on the streets. Im never happy, medication dont work...I just dont want to be around anymore. Im trying to think of a way to do it that looks natural, because I dont want anyone to know how bad it was. I was hiding it so long.... Ive never really had respect for people who talk about commiting suicide, because they never will follow through, they are just doing it for attention. I dont know why Im here....I just want someone to know I guess.