For the last three days I have felt so lost. Like I had been building up to someone amazing, and had it stolen from me just before I was going to get it. I am told to keep faith but I am also being told there is nothing I can do. I have an impossible time not feeling I am living the worst case scenario, and am constantly fighting off anxiety attacks based on these emotions of helplessness and feeling like a lost cause. I am having a very hard time seeing how life is so amazing, when I feel like I am being crushed under it's weight. It would be so much easier if I didn't have to do this any more. I could be done, and with a lack of existence, I could be free. They always say "what about your family? your friends?" My friends have been flaky and stand offish for a long time, leaving me to question whom my true friends are. My family would be very upset I know, but sometimes I think that their content feelings don't really outweigh my feelings of hopelessness and wanting to be done. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. I need release from all of this. I don't really think I've ever felt so lost before.