It's hard

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Dyingonpurpose, Oct 1, 2012.

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  1. Dyingonpurpose

    Dyingonpurpose New Member

    Is hard growing up in today's society. And I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I've had a really horrible life and I just want to die. I've lost people close to me, too close. I get bullied every day. I have no one. I'm ready to kill myself. I've been cutting for about 16 months now and it's getting horrendous, I make myself sick getting dressed to hide the scars each morning. People ask why I cover my skin, but I can never explain.. I want it all to stop!! <\3
     
  2. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Life sucks. People should not bully you. Why don't you take up a hobby? You would find that the world is actually pretty complicated. By pretty, I do not mean physical beauty but a more kind of strange beauty.
     
  3. Cannin

    Cannin Member

    When I was going threw that kind of stuff (Loosing friends and such) I made it a point to try really hard to open my self up to new people. And the cutting you gotta try and treat it like a addictive drug you need to constantly monitor yourself and how much you do it. try writting some of your loved ones names on your body where ever you cut and think about what they would say or do if they found out you felt that way. It's so easy to want to just give up but the honest truth is if u try and it dosnt work its going to suck a million times worth dealing with aftermath. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems I promiss this WILL pass!
     
  4. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    I agree its very hard. I HATED high school and was clinically depressed through most of it. SO Lonely, too scared to talk to women, anxiety issues and the like. But it does end and can get way better after that. College was way better but guess what after that I fell back into depression. Society makes me miserable every day and I actually did seriously attempt suicide after college due to years of untreated mental illness and guess what I survived. THe whole point here is I almost destroyed my family's life. Yours would be utterly crushed if you killed yourself. They might even try to kill themselves! My question is have you tried antidepressants because they have freaking saved my life. Now they are no cure. I will have depression my whole life. I still have few friends, mostly by choice, and am bad at meeting women even though they tend to like my personality. I just see no future with them. In fact I see very little future for me at all but I will never attempt what I did again because I saw what it would do to my family and it was awful. Antidepressants can curb the cutting issues as well as any imbalances you may have. If I had sought help sooner I wouldn't have done the crazy thing I did and wouldn't have to face everyone who now pity's my sorry ass. Please seek help and see if you can get on a medication that helps you. If they helped me they CAN definitely help you! You don't have no one I am here to listen to your pain and trust me I understand wanting to die.
     
  5. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    And let me also say my mother practices self mutilation and did not seek help until much later in life and she has suffered for it. I do not self harm and I know it is more common for women to do so but it breaks my heart to see your profile picture.
     
  6. jellyrush

    jellyrush Member

    Well, you've done something right by coming here :)

    Lost as in died or lost as in they moved away from you? I can sympathise with you there on both accounts, and with time, it does get easier. You wont believe me now because you are in the thick of it.

    That pisses me off to no end. I fucking hate bullies with a passion. But bullies are after one thing- a reaction. If you don't give them one, they'll eventually stop trying and pick on someone else.

    Have you thought of seeing a school counceller? Have you talked to your parents about it?

    The only time i've self harmed was for sexual gratification (yeah, i'm a sick fuck), however I can understand your reasonings behind it. It becomes an addiction and is very difficult to stop.

    I really do hope that things get better for you. If you wish, you can send me a pm to chat about this further :)
     
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