I did it again... was really down and restless monday evening. My friend April showed up to hang out for a bit, she had a few K4's (dilaudid) so i bought one and shot it. Then about 30 mins later another friend showed up with Heroin stamps, so i bought 2 of them and did those as well. Well since i was feeling somewhat better i figured i would keep going, so i called Billy (he's one of the guys that works at the center, who's supposed to help me) he took me to Ricks, and we all went on a run to get some K8's (dilaudid) so i bought one of those too and did it. I was secretly hoping i would OD, but all it did was make me sleep for two days. It figures. I believe my life is never gonna get any better, and that i'm never gonna beat my addiction. Perhaps i should roll over and face facts. At least when i was using every day my life had a purpose. I really feel like giving up. I'm not sure i have it in me to keep fighting. You know how i said if something good doesn't happen fast that i'm just gonna get it over with.