its hurting too damn much now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by greeneyes7, Nov 26, 2009.

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  1. greeneyes7

    greeneyes7 New Member

    okay so just flew in from New York this morning. used to be my favorite place in the world, all my anxiety and pain would go away and id be carefree. this time it was hell, i couldn't relax i was tense and all i wanted to do was cry, now i'm home things are even worse. i want to die so badly it is unbelievable, i have felt this way for 5 years and i know most people out there will this its impossible to rationally want to kill yourself but i do. i have thought about my situation for a hundred different angles, taken pills, seen therapist the whole lot and still i just don't like it here. BIG PROBLEM i'm scared of dying alone.. petrified that it it will go wrong and i just want someone to hold my hand but theres no one. just me so im hoping my anti anxiety pills might be able to take this fear away tomorrow and let me have to balls to do it x
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am hoping you have the balls to call you doctor and try new meds out there. New antidepressants just out so you are in less pain. always new meds and new therapist may just reach you. Take care really start fighting for you and for you to get better.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Ditto what Violet said...and please continue to post here and let us be there for you...PM me if I can help in anyway...J
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