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It's hurts the most when your family uses your depression against you

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Terrie15, Jul 20, 2011.

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  1. Terrie15

    Terrie15 Member

    If I get into an argument with one of my family members they end using my depression and problems against me. It hurts so much that they would do that. I trusted them :( I'm now constantly being put down by my younger siblings. But why should they look up to me? I'm nothing but a big mess. Even my parents are starting to feel weary, it's like they think I'm doing this for attention.

    If they think I'm pretending, I'll show them how well I can pretend. I'm current sitting in the bathroom with a knife and seriously considering it.
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Families can be the cruelest of all. But its not the answer, to cut yourself. Can you talk to us, or them, about why you are depressed?
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I understand that feeling of being ignored and/or invalidated, but hurting yourself is NOT the answer. It doesn't resolve the real problem...which is the lack of understanding from your family. When you feel a bit calmer, perhaps you can talk to your family about how much it hurts you that they don't understand what depression is doing to you.

    In the meantime, as Windlepoons suggested, you can talk to people here and get support.
  4. DanEngland

    DanEngland New Member

    Letting you're parents know how bad it is would probably help. Cutting yourself for relief(hopefully not as a suicide attempt) probably won't help at all. I've cut my legs and forearms before twice and both times it just made me feel worse, pathetic and psychotic(even though I'm not).

    I hope at some point they will understand your problem and their support may help you recover or at least remove 1 more of the things that isn't helping your depression.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    My family doesn't understand my illness..So I can relate to you.. The only one that understands is the sister I live with..She see's me on a daily basis and leaves me alone.. She doesn't push..I don't worry about the others because they live a distance away.. The only time I see them is holidays and birthdays..Maybe you should think about putting some distance between you and your family..
  6. Silverpuddle

    Silverpuddle Some kind of geek SF Author SF Supporter

    Bizarrely, I got my dad to at least somewhat understand what depression was by comparing it to a toothache. He understood what it was like to be unable to think of anything but pain, and to have suffering keep you awake at night.

    A lot of people who can't seem to understand depression understand physical pain.
  7. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    Families are the toughest critics.
    I just want to let you know it is ok to not like how they think. You are not alone in this feeling. A lot of others do care. I don't like it and I think it is lousy behavior. People choose how to think, act. I believe my family or my ex *can* become educated or understand. Why do they not? I don't know!!?!

    I mean, people with heart disease or other brain disorders, Parkinsons and Altizmers, or Cancer (big C), millions of people take meds but mental illness has shame and stigmas attached.

    I have been shunned or disowned by my dads family (happened after my dad died)...they don't want or care to understand. I pray for them. I do miss them.
    My brother has mental health issue and they shun him too; so I know it happens to others also. It is wrong.

    I am thinking tonight of you & your pain.

    Ways to kick the door open:
    *Offering to locate some support group or a NAMI mtg so they can start to believe you. Why would a person lie about this?
    *Asking your dad or mom to go to dr. with you and ask dr. questions's.
    *Obtaining free materials for reading from NAMI or other support places, many are FREE!!
    *Try doing what you do if ppl ask you "how are you today?" you want to say the obvious, and truth but instead you say "oh fine, thanks for asking...how are you??"...Answer your family pleasantly for one day and see if they notice how u can fake it, but you are really in pain. OR don't talk to them and let them NOT use it.

    If these are corny ideas, please accept my apologies in advance...I'm learning to cope as well and trying out things.

    Take care please!!
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